What's On My Heart
2005-01-05 22:04:41 (UTC)

Thanks for Asking


Shall I begin with last night? Okay, I think I will.

I went to say goodbye to my friends at work last night.
That was sad, but I got pictures, so I don't care. Then I
went to Will's house to say goodbye to him and his family.
When I first got there he was asleep, so being a great
"friend" (or whatever I am to him) I crawled next to his bed
and woke him up with a tickle. Ha, that was funny. He
didn't find it humorous until later. Oh well, anyway, so I
was there with them for awhile just talking about college
and packing and how I didn't want to leave cuz I was going
to miss them, then the call came. It was Mikey. Mikey is
cool. I love him too death, the only thing was his driver
was Melissa.

Let me tell you something about that girl. She doesn't like
me due to the fact that Will and I got together. See,
Melissa liked him before he and I met and I was trying to
get them together. I was their go between during fights and
talks, etc. I'm always the go-between for a great majority
of my friends, so it didn't matter to me. Well, finally,
while I was away for a week (literally, I was in TX - far
from my hood) they broke up completely. No talking, no
seeing, no nothing. So, when I came back I was like, "What
happened?" I wasn't too happy cuz Will and I became good
friends, but Melissa didn't want to see or speak to him
again. How Will and I kept of the guys gave him
my number cuz he asked for it. Back to what I was saying....

So, after Will talked to Mikey, he looked at me and said,
"Melissa is coming over. Do you want to stay?" I said,
"Yes, cuz it's my last night to be with you and your family
and I want to spend some time with them." He was kinda
hoping I would say, "No, I better go." But I didn't. I
don't care what Melissa thinks. She is my friend n' all,
but come on, it's not like Will and I are together.
Besides, I hadn't seen her in a few months and I wanted to
say hi and see what she had been up to. Well, Danny tried
to stall, cuz I decided, maybe I should leave, but it was
too late. *knock, knock* They were there. They came in
and I was all cool about it. Will was trippin' out thinkin'
Melissa and I would start a fight, but nah, we didn't. To
make Will feel better, I left the room and went into the
back room. He followed and did something so unlike Will to
do. He shut the door behind him and said, "Let's talk."
From the start, I knew it was going to be bad. So, we
talked. He told me he wanted me to leave. I asked him why
and he told me that he didn't want Melissa and I to start
anything. I told him that we wouldn't. Or atleast, I
wasn't going to. But he felt really uncomfortable with it,
so after about 10 minutes, I finally just got frustrated and
hurt. I just said, "Whateva" and got my stuff and headed
out. I said goodbye to everyone there, including Melissa,
but purposefully left without saying goodbye to Will. I
couldn't. I was too hurt by everything he said. He thought
I was holding something back, which I kinda was, but I told
him everything that had to do with what was going on. I
left out the fact that I really was going to miss him, cuz
he has turned into a great friend and I hate the fact that I
may not see him again. You see, he is a
"live-one-place-for-one-year-move-somewhere-next-year" type
of person. When I get back from college for the summer, he
may not be there. So, anyway, he texted me right after I
left and asked why I didn't say goodbye. I told him that I
said it to everyone as I left. I'm sorry if he didn't hear
me. Which I did say it to everyone as I left, but not loud
enough just so he'd get something for making me feel like
crap. I'm not like that and he knows it. That was the
first time I have ever done that to him or anyone else
really for that matter. I've done it occasionally, but not
to my boyfriend...never to my boyfriend. So, I felt bad
about it later. But anyway, I apologized via text messaging
and he just blew it off and said, "Don't worry about it."
So, I went to bed and got all comfy and then, "Gr!" I
forgot to call in and playback my monitor. Gosh darn it!
By this time, it was 11:50ish at night. I called it in and
played it back. Got back in bed and fell asleep. Then
*ring, ring*....I looked at my clock as well as I could in
the dark and half-asleep....12:10 AM. Who in the world??
So, I picked up. It was the heart specialists that I just
called earlier. Why were they calling? I picked up and
they said that I needed to playback my recordings. Now,
this is very not-typical. These people don't call back
unless something is wrong, or they found something in one of
the recordings. The lady was very nice and said that as
soon as I get another recording, I need to call it in. Oie,
boy what a night! I got off the phone and fell asleep....

Only to be woken up 3 hours later. It was Will. He was
texting me trying to get me to wake up. He is in massive
trouble next time I see him. I did what I thought best, I
ignored the texts and went back to sleep.

Later on, I woke up and got ready and took Danny to work.
On our way, I kinda ran into a curb. Not a good thing, but
considering I hit "black ice" - meaning you cant see it on
the road...I will write more later. Must go say goodbye to
some people.