muse

void deck
2005-01-05 10:17:06 (UTC)

pain in the chest

Feel like my heart is bursting... my first day in 2005 in
Singapore.

I am feeling depressed, really depressed. I won't try to
make sense of this. It's everything I'm going through
right now.

I was a failure last year. Fighting for something that was
not meant for me, giving up what was meant for me.

Cried buckets just now. Hated myself, the world,
everything.

I am so afraid, so angry, so lonely. The Berkeley square
is empty. I can't hear any nightingale singing there.

Life is a joke, only that it's not funny anymore.
Especially now that I am the clown.




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