marie aka mississippi

Jersey Native
Ad 0:
2005-01-04 03:23:56 (UTC)

Read it or DON'T.....bad dream.....

CheviSoSexxi (8:37:23 PM): u busy
LayDMiya160 (8:37:39 PM): naw just filling out job
applications
LayDMiya160 (8:37:41 PM): why wassup
CheviSoSexxi (8:37:57 PM): nada...
LayDMiya160 (8:38:18 PM): what u doin
CheviSoSexxi (8:39:27 PM): nada...eatin' juss woke up!!
CheviSoSexxi (8:39:39 PM): i had a bad dream
LayDMiya160 (8:39:53 PM): about?????????
CheviSoSexxi (8:40:12 PM): my friend....that passed away
LayDMiya160 (8:40:43 PM): what happened in the dream
LayDMiya160 (8:40:52 PM): if u want to talk about it
CheviSoSexxi (8:41:15 PM): man...same thing sorta that
really happened
LayDMiya160 (8:41:54 PM): U cool?
CheviSoSexxi (8:42:03 PM): man naw...
CheviSoSexxi (8:42:07 PM): it was different
CheviSoSexxi (8:42:09 PM): cuz like...
LayDMiya160 (8:42:45 PM): cuz like what
LayDMiya160 (8:42:49 PM): talk to me ma
CheviSoSexxi (8:42:58 PM): i was juss chillen w/ him an
then
CheviSoSexxi (8:43:25 PM): i was drivin' an i seen the
accident....an i was on my way to prom (everyone was)
CheviSoSexxi (8:44:22 PM): an so i found out it was
him...i aint got to skoo.....lots of folkz came to my
hosue (friends) an it was like i aint believe it
CheviSoSexxi (8:45:23 PM): i wanted to go to skoo but i
juss couldnt if i went an i aint see him there...so i was
gettin' dressed for the funeral (eveyone wore pink) so im
lookin' in my closet for somn nice an pink to wear
CheviSoSexxi (8:45:55 PM): an i juss stopped an was
like "i kno i aint tryin' to pick somn out to wear to my
boy funeral...then i laffed" an got there
CheviSoSexxi (8:46:53 PM): wen i got there i was in the
pew w/ my motha an i was cool seen all my folks they spoke
an noo oen was cryin'
CheviSoSexxi (8:47:15 PM): so wen the service started an
his brother spoke...an his daddy..i was still cool
CheviSoSexxi (8:47:52 PM): they started playin' this one
song....an my momma was singin' the words or w.e.....thats
wen i started askin' her to tell me this was a dream
CheviSoSexxi (8:48:47 PM): she grabbed me an held me...a
tear dropped down her cheek.....an i was like "Nooo"
CheviSoSexxi (8:49:32 PM): i buried my head in her chest
while she rocked me like a baby.....i was cryin' sooo much
i could feel folks touchin' me....then i got the nerve to
go up there cuz i still aint wan believe it
CheviSoSexxi (8:50:11 PM): i did....i touched his hand an
i was like....get up freddy...c'mon dude lets go man..
CheviSoSexxi (8:50:39 PM): an he aint get up...so i
screamed "why u layin' there?" an he aint get up ma
CheviSoSexxi (8:51:38 PM): i fell to my knees an cried
till my eyes were swollen....my motha came down all the
way from where we were sittin'
CheviSoSexxi (8:52:40 PM): an got on the ground w/ me
LayDMiya160 (8:53:10 PM): awwww
LayDMiya160 (8:53:24 PM): thats deep as hell
LayDMiya160 (8:53:27 PM): Im somethin like speechless
CheviSoSexxi (8:53:32 PM): chea...me 2
LayDMiya160 (8:54:24 PM): U gone be alright
LayDMiya160 (8:55:21 PM): ???????
CheviSoSexxi (8:55:34 PM): its crazy...cuz i mean like
CheviSoSexxi (8:56:43 PM): everyone will comfort u wen
somn like that happends while u mourn but then wha bout 6
months lata wen u have dreams an u missin' this person???
aint no one there...
LayDMiya160 (8:57:27 PM): Im here
CheviSoSexxi (8:58:30 PM): yea..
LayDMiya160 (9:00:26 PM): I dont kno cuz I was just crying
earlier today when I was in the tub my mommy obituary is
in the bathroom in a bible and i was readin it and i just
started crying mad hard
LayDMiya160 (9:02:20 PM): i mean i couldnt stop then i
started thinkin bout the funeral and how much i miss her
and how at the funeral i was hugging her an di didnt want
to let her go my p eeps had to pull me off of her and how
at the hospital i saw her on lying on the hospital bed
dead and i was trying to wake her up I mean i tried
everything from CPR to praying
LayDMiya160 (9:02:39 PM): and nothin would bring her back
and how hurt i am and hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
CheviSoSexxi (9:03:16 PM): man.....i can't imagine....but
u kno wha
CheviSoSexxi (9:04:02 PM): rii before i woke up i was
standin' by my motha casket at her funeral holdin' her
hand while people walked up to say goodbye
CheviSoSexxi (9:04:21 PM): that wha fuked me up in my
dream....i woke up sweatin' an cryin'...
CheviSoSexxi (9:05:51 PM): man...shit an if that wasn't
euff wen i got up guess wha....a song by envouge was
playin' called im missing you
LayDMiya160 (9:06:59 PM): Im not trying to scare you or
nothin ma but those are signs
CheviSoSexxi (9:07:49 PM): i kno..thats wha i said...soon
as i woke up i wanted to call my grandma but i aint wan
scare her
LayDMiya160 (9:07:51 PM): and GOd is preparing u for
somebodies death not saying that its gone be ur moms but
somebody..........I didnt even have a chance to be
prepared it just happened spontaneously
CheviSoSexxi (9:08:53 PM): yeah...i dun kno how to be
prepared ma....i mean wha im pose to do...imma give my
self a damn heart attack
LayDMiya160 (9:09:32 PM): I kno thats why Im the way I am
now
LayDMiya160 (9:10:05 PM): I mad mean, always crying,
always mad, dont care about peoples feelings, scared to
get close to someone cuz i fear im gone lose them
CheviSoSexxi (9:13:02 PM): i've been to plenty of
funerals...mostyly old ppl in my family...that was sooo
sooo much diff. than freddy's an it hit me a whole diff.
way....cuz i mean that was my boy an i had just met his
motha less than a week ago then before my eyes they were
both gone..thats y ppl are like ch3vi aint like ya'll were
datin'....he was juss ur friend...but im like dude....that
was my boy..seen him everyday an listened to his cd's...


?????
Ch3vi


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4rm D*sowe~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

just to let you know even though your mad at me i'm here
for you when you have dreams like that.. and don't feel
alone cuz i still have them too.. and i still think about
it everyday too.... i love you girl..... and i'm gonna
always be here


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