My Gay Misadventures
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2005-01-03 22:49:23 (UTC)

So far, so New.

Being only 3 days into the new year things are somewhat
shapin up. I have this new way of thinking about myself,
which in turn, should better me overall. Im dedicated to my
new diet of calorie intake (so far gained and lost 2 lbs :(
) Im no longer interested in cheap petty sex with just
anyone (or kissing for that matter) and am bound more then
ever in my life to Save money for my eyewear (the main
ingredient to gettin behind the steering wheel) Things sure
do seem like they be 'aight for now

(Now lets drop the act and come clean....) A few nights ago
I met someone from online iv always wanted to meet. This
older guy, but extreamly witty and intecual. We got along
great. and even clicked over the phone. Problem was, Iv
never seen a face pic of him, just a small chest/abs shot.
(And pics of him in the distance) Anyway, after finaly
giving him my addy, the door knocks....Ok, let me first say.
Ew. Ew x 5 and Ew x 10. Im not normaly a judgemental person,
but this guy, was gross. Much shorter then i expected. Beer
gut. withered face, and a clothin choice that just screamed
tacky (cap, silver knitted sweater, ankle high jeans and
loafers) ...Anyway, bein the easy goin guy I am, I invite
him in, and we have a nice long chat. I could tell he wanted
more, cuz everytime he mentioned something along the lines
of intimate, i'd draw away from the topic (he sighed...a
lot) kept asking me "What do you want?" and the more he
asked, and the more i answered (he kept askin cuz he kept
becomeing dumbfounded with my answers) the more i began to
do a self anyalisis. To make a long story short, in the end,
he wanted to kiss me. (due to a comment i made online
earlier in the night) Needless to say i was reluctent. But
being easy, I was...well...easy. he came to the couch i was
on, grabbed me, and kissed me. I kissed back. But was
somehow hurt inside. It was empty. meaninless. Stupid. (not
to mention the tounge of 20 years of smoking is more then a
shudder or 354) upon his departure, i vowed never to do that
again. So for this new year, my Resoultion is to NOT have
any more hook-ups, NOT kiss out of the sake of kissing, and
save it ALL for that special someone. and whut!

I also had this dream a few mins ago...I swear it was from a
past life. But im late for work as usual. So more on that
later (If i remember) {Which i prolly wont} [Meh]