gothic witch

gone with the sin
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2005-01-03 00:06:06 (UTC)

vampire

i have absolutley no clue why the hell i'm starting this...
the thing is, i always wanted to have an online
diary/journal or whatever, but i don't think i'll be able to
write that often... seeing as i barely have time to write my
real diary... i think if it could it would kill me for keep
it hanging, 'cuz somehow i mostly drop off at the most
interasting and tens parts of my life... i guess it's a
thing in my subconscious, 'cuz i'm a writer and i'm suposed
to cut off in the most interasting parts of the stories to
piss u off, lol.
before i go on, i'll just say a few words about me. all u
need to know u'll find out here, but just so u know i'll be
giving u fake names of my friends and familly and stuff,
'cuz it's none of ur business. plus i doubt that any1 is
gonna be reading this at all, and even if they do i don't
think they'll really care is my friends name missy or sissy
lol. The only thing i'm gonna tell u is that my name is
lexy, i was borne in serbia in 1990 (it's not freakin'
siberia!!! It's SERBIA, it's on the balkan peninsula of
europe) i'm a goth and u can find me in the taty.us chat
under the nick PoisonGirl (and no i'm not gay i just used to
love the band t.A.T.u and then i met so many amazing ppl in
that chat and don't wanna loose touch with them for
anything)
so anyway, the reason why i titled this vampire is 'cuz i
feel like one right now... i can't fall asleep b4 at least 5
in the morning nowdays, and then wake up somewhere in the
afternoon... like last night i fell asleep after i saw the
sun rise at seven. I fell asleep in my bro's room, actually,
and was awakend by the sound of the front door opening. I
quickly jumped thinking it's 2 in the morning and he came
back home after going out, and grabed my pillow to run out
of the room. When i did so i realised it was some time of
day and then looked at my cell phone and saw it was 10am!
Needless to say i was extra confused... then it all hit me ?
my bro was out of the city, and it couldn't be 2 o'clock
'cuz i fell asleep at 7 the same morning, lol. I groaned and
fell right back to bed and woke up just in time for lunch,
thinking i'm acting like a vamp 'cuz of falling asleep after
seeing the first ray of sunlight.
Still, it wasn't that that kept me awake... actually it's
this one guy... yeh i'm admittin' it and talking about it
for the first time. Actually i'm totally over that right
now it just upset me yesterday. See, his name i bayn and i
was in love with him like a lifetime ago. He's an extra cute
punk, lol. He had a thing going for me too but then i got
into some shit and stopped going out. Then afterwards, like
it passed a month or two, and when i saw him again i really
didn't feel anything, and i'm sure he didn't either. I think
he had a girlfriend or something as well... in anycase i
didn't give a shit i just thought it was a bit sad that we
lost it without ever giving it a go. Anyhow, i didn't see
him ever ever ever from then. It passed about... hmm... 3 or
4 months and then i saw him yesterday night... the guy looks
amazing that's a fact, but i thought i didn't care about him
anymore. Yet, when i came back home he was driving me nuts
inside my head! If i really didn't give a damn, why did his
apperance in my life again rock my world and disturb me so
much?! And we're complete opossites too! He's punk and
doesn't like the goth darkness that much, he thinks it's
satanic in any case. And i don't give a damn about anarchy
and really don't get the point in all of it. I'm a peaceful
artistic darkling, u know? We even listen to completely
different music, exept i like some of the bands he likes...
so what the hell is wrong with me?! is it the opossites
atrackt thing?! There's just this look in his eyes... i
can't tell what the hell it means but it's there everytime
we talk and it's so beautiful.... i couldn't get myself so i
couldn't sleep. Until i saw the night fade away at least.
Anyway, i really am all over it today. I did want to see him
again to figure out do i actually have some feelings for him
or anything, but i didn't. He'll probably come back into my
life in another 4 month to twist me inside-out again.
Bastard...lol but i don't care, i don't mind it that much.
It's just weird tho.. yesterday i would have given anything
for him to just txt me or whatever, just so i can feel close
to him to figure out do i like him or not, and today i don't
care... it's becuz i never get the time to figure it out, i
never stick around him long enough. I wonder if he ever
wonders the same thing when he sees me...? but never the
less, i met a really cute gothic guy today *wink wink* but i
just said he was cute!!!!
I also hate the fact i can't write my story right now... i
can't seem to focus... i'm suposed to introduce a few new
characters and get one girl really drunk... i can't
concentrate, i don't know why... if it's bayns fault i'm
gonna kick his ass the next i see him! Lol, yeh right, like
this summer....


X x X Lex


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