thebigstar

Signs Of Life
2005-01-01 19:18:02 (UTC)

October 31, 2004 - Letting go...

I've been waiting for this day for a long time. 31 days
ago you could've asked me how life was and I would've
answered you with a short and depressing statement..."life
is life and I'm just living it." Today, however, my
answer, although still short, would be quite
different....let me explain. My reason for changing the
theme of my website recently is appropriate. I say this
because not too long ago I realized that life is a journey.
Journey: A process or course likened to traveling; a
passage: the journey of life.

I like this definition...a process...a course....a
passage. It all makes sense, doesn't it? Every opportunity
and every curve in our lives can lead us to so many
unexpected and sometimes even uncomfortable situations. I
want to start with "course". 31 days ago I was on a
course. I think of a race course. A race course has a
starting point and a finishing point. The basic principle
is to go as fast as you can to reach the finish line
first; but is it really that easy? Sure, the engine
starts, the flag is dropped, you press that gas pedal as
hard as you can and then you're off. 0 to 160km/h in about
30 seconds and it feels incredible. Life "feels" great.
Soon, however, there might be a turn, a bump in the road,
some sort of obsticle that will make you think fast. Do I
slow down? Do I speed up? Step away from the racing
analogy for a second and I think it's fair to say that
sometimes the obsticles in our lives can take the place of
the original objective being the finish line. 31 days ago
I was facing the consequences of allowing that to happen
to me. Up to about a year ago life was great. I was doing
160 on a perfectly straight road when...there it was, an
obsticle. Unable to let go of the fear of losing that
incredible feeling, I sped up. Soon I found myself
totalled. Completely destroyed. The course I had been on
was no longer a reality...how can you make it to the
finish line when your car doesn't work?

This brings me to that next definition...a passage.

Ok, enough of the korny analogy's. Time to get real. Life
has many passages. In my personal opinion, a passage can
be transferred into reality as a decision. Decisions are
inevitable. We face them everyday. Albert Camus (don't ask
me who he is) once said that "Life is the sum of all your
choices." This is true if you cease to make a certain
choice. See, all of our choices do add up and yes, there's
a consequence for each one. But what if I told you that,
recently, I have come to understand that there's a really
easy way around this. Let's go back to the racing analogy
for a second (sorry). 31 days ago I was "enjoying"
(sarcasm) the sum off all my choices and it left me
powerless. It left me actually believing that the race
could be over...or even worst, that I had lost. Then, in
the distance, as though He had planned this in His mind,
God himself showed up. Some of you are totally with me
right now...others just got lost. See, although I had made
the wrong choice of speeding up and crashing, that wasn't
my worst choice. The problem was that I was driving alone.
With that realization, I entered into a passage that will
forever change my life.

Last but not least....a process.

This is my favourite part of the journey. It used to be my
least favourite. When I finally realized that Jesus Christ
was perfect and that He himself wanted to drive this
course with me, I let go. I let go of everything from
trying to please people to trying to please myself. I
think that's really important, a key part of having a
relationship with God. How can we please God and do His
will when we're constantly trying to please ourselves and
others? It just doesn't work that way. But here's the best
part. When I stopped trying to do those things and I gave
it all up for Jesus, I came to realize that serving Christ
actually makes life so much better. I say this because
when I'm not focusing on myself all the time and, instead,
making God my focus, He is actually focusing on me. It's
amazing because how can life be bad when the one who
created everything is with you everyday? Remember, in one
of my first entries, when I said that the heart is so
important? Well when you're living for God, what happens
in life, whether good or bad, has no effect on the heart
unless God allows it to. I'll focus on this more another
time. The process is key. Don't expect things to be
perfect. One day those who have feared the Lord and given
Him their life will be perfect...that's guaranteed. For
now, look to the cross and God will send you on a journey
with no regrets and full of freedom.

Lord, you are good. Your love endures forever. Thank you
for your love. Thank you for your freedom. I crucify my
flesh that I may do your will. Be glorified in me.

-R.Theriault


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