am_I_human

more human than human
2005-01-01 07:28:16 (UTC)

To Auld Lang Syne

How many things can change in a year? we think it is a
short period of time, because we expect to go through
many....60, 70....possibly up to 100. and yet we can go
through so much in a year...gain so much, lose so
much...possibly for the better, possibly for the worse.

One year ago, I lay in the arms of a boy I loved. Shortly
past midnight, after many New Year's kisses, I turned to
him and told him that my New Years resolution was to be the
best girlfriend ever. My plans were that by now I'd be
preparing to finish my second year at Grant MacEwan in
their dance program, that I would be preparing to transfer
to SFU in BC, and Scott would be moving there with me.

How times have changed...

I am no longer able to dance...I would have been in the lst
graduating class of their dance program, which has now had
their funding cut. I require knee surgery. That boy broke
my heart, breaking up with me only days after I made that
promise. I swore I wouldn't get into another relationship
for at least a year...

Now I'm engaged to a man I didn't know at the time. I met
him two weeks after I'd thought I'd lost my ability to care
for anyone. We have had our fights, but after two break-ups
and many tears on both sides, I realized how amazing he
makes me feel. Yes, I do complain about him from time to
time, but really, that's more to make myself feel that I
deserve him. He allows me my space, my freedom, but is
always there when I need him. I live with him now, and my
two cats, as well as our future best man. We have another
roomate, a sweet gentleman who's craft is metal work.

So much can happen in a year....

This year, my resolution?

Don't expect anything. Get lost in the moment, let go, and
enjoy...life is more fun that way.

~phi


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