zoe

Undercover Discoverer
2005-01-01 06:50:30 (UTC)

goodbye 2004, hello 2005

i couldn't help thinking, as the ball was dropping at
midnight, now utterly lonely i am. i was in a room with
fifteen people, all of which had had some form of alcohol
in their system, and i was reminded of the scene i wrote
for one of my stories. it went a little something like
this:
there were family and friends at this last party of the
year, everyone was talking about the last 365 days, and i
was sitting on the couch, wondering why i was there
instead of somewhere else, with people i knew and cared
about. at two minutes to midnight, everyone was ushered in
the family room and it was too crowded in there for me, so
i stood behind them all in the doorway, although i really
wanted to make a quick getaway. just as the clock turned
11:59pm, the bak door opened, and rushing in came nick. as
i looked up, i was not expecting him to be there, so i was
surprised. "what are you doing here, why aren't you at the
party?" i asked. ten seconds left. "i had somewhere more
important to be, and someone more important to be with."
THREE....TWO....ONE....HAPPY NEW YEAR! and then he grabbed
me and put his lips to mine.

and that's exactly what i was thinking as the ball hit
the 2005. what i want to do right now is cry. how can
someone be so lonely? you would think that i would be one
of those "so-depressed-she-needs-medication" kind of
teenagers, but i'm not. i'm okay being single, and the
fact that i'm afraid of the opposite sex makes it
difficult to form any relationship with anyone who isn't
gay (cough cough), so i'm sort of okay being lonely. i
guess i have to be.
the reason i'm okay is that i know that one day i will
be watching the ball drop, and i know that i will be
kissing someone. ONE DAY. those are the two important
words.
and GOD---I HOPE THAT DAY IS SOON.




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