Driving Stick in America is a real bitch
so juliann got a car and it's a stick. i went ahead and
took it to get teh state inspection today and boy was that
some shit. now i've just driven manual a couple of times in
austria, so i'm not exactly proficient in it. this means
that i roll back some inches if i'm starting the car in 1st
on a hill. every fucking bastard at every stoplight was
maybe an inch from my bumper. it's just ridiculous, there
is absolutely no courtesy space here. i mean i can
understand someone tailgating me if i'm doing 35 in a 55 in
the left hand lane, but what good is it to get right up to
the car infront of you when you're at a dead stop?
it all went good and well until i was on fucking mt. st.
helen's at this one stop light. sure enough as i roll to a
stop the bitch behind me practically taps my bumper, i had
some inches to roll up so i tried and stalled. frustrating.
people don't know how much automatic really does for them,
if you want to appreciate it, then try to inch up a mountain
of a hill with a 70 yr. old in a cadillac tailgating the
hell out of you. i couldn't belive it when the bitch went
ahead and got right on my ass again. i was now two inches
from the car in front of me and about a pubic hair from
grandma behind me.
i ended up having to floor it and squeal out so that i
wouldn't roll back.
along that note, is everyone who shops at walmart straight
up retarded? i'm there today buying some cds and get to the
cashier. this guy infront of me who looks like his mother
chugged bleach with him in the womb is trying to pay with 3
gift cards for some office chair. don't ask me what type of
man gets 3 gift cards all for 25 dollars to walmart, but i'm
sure he jacks off to children. so after the cashier did all
that he had 17.16 left on his tab. this is when things get
odd. in a really odd effiminate voice he states that he has
change. so he pulls out 25 cents and stares at it. the
cashier is just slack-jawed rolling her eyes and drooling as
he labors back into his pants. then he pulls out about 200
pennies. i swear it was a mountain. then he stares at
that. the cashier starts to balk and counts out 16 cents.
so then he puts the rest of it in his pocket and just stands
there. she stands there. after a second she says,
"i still need 17 dollahs fum yah"
"whut? oh, heh, i'ma sahry, i'ma not myaselfa today."
so he pulls out a 20 and continues to fish for something
else in his pocket. she reaches for the twenty and he
recoils in horror, actually emitting an ejaculatory,
the cashier's eyes are just buggin' out of her head and i
can tell that a mixture of indignation and worry are dancing
behind the initial shock.
finally he pulls out another 1 dollar bill and hands the 21
dollars to her,
"there ya go"
"he YOU go" and she gives him the dollar back
"no, no, this way you can just give me 4 dollars back."
the cashier looks up at me with a look of,
"this man is fucking insane" i arch my eyebrow and shrug to
help her out and she puts his one dollar on teh counter and
fishes 3 dollars out to give back to him. as she picks up
his one dollar to add to his change he bellows,
"NO!" then kind of started by his second ejaculation he sort
"look...." and he looks around suspiciously, "i'd like 4
dollars in change, not my dollar back."
there was a moment in which i could tell she wanted to just
beat him down for his oddities, but then she resignd
herself; took 4 dollars from the drawer, and put what she
had out in there.
she just stared after him with a thoughtful gaze. man what
people go through working at walmart.
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