monique

Woolgathering
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2004-12-31 16:39:35 (UTC)

New Year Resolution

I've begun thinking about my New Year's resolution for 2005
and,if you read what I wrote last year when I was doing
this, you know that this can take me some time. Every New
Year's resolution is a small gift wrapped in shiny paper
that I give to myself and I want to chose it carefully. It
wasn't until two weeks into 2004, after a great deal of
thinking and considering different ideas, that I decided on
nuturing serenity as my resolution. So, again, I begin the
process. My resolutions aren't always practical or concrete
or measurable. They're certainly not easy. I can't claim
that I kept my resolution of nuturing serenity all the times
I could have last year but I do feel more patient and calmer
and that was the whole point.

Simplify.
After spending yesterday evening at my in-laws
house, a house crammed full of stuff everywhere you turn,
where it's impossible to focus on anything because there is
just too much, my resolution includes to get rid of things
that I don't need, don't want or will never use. There are
some things I will keep for sentimental reasons, others
because they're practical, but I will begin looking at the
things in my house with a far more critical eye. Some things
will be stored, others given away and others sold. I do not
want to be eighty years old and spending most of the little
time I have left on this earth taking care of inanimate
objects while also trying to figure out how to get rid of
them like my in-laws are doing now.
I also want to simplify my inner life. I have a
tendency to make everything much too complex. I examine
things too closely, try to determine all the possibilities
beforehand and spend inordinate amounts of time making
decisions about things which really aren't all that
important. I do that partly because I dislike unpleasant
surprises, have a tendency to be a perfectionist and want to
feel in control. Yes, I am aware of how ironic it is that I
will spend so much time determining my New Year's resolution
but I'll argue that it doesn't apply because the resolution
I decide on is not unimportant. At least, not to me.

I want to include three of the components I had last year.

Pray
I pray in bits and pieces throughout my day. I
don't use long and formal prayers except when I say the
rosary, which I try to do daily. I pray when I'm driving,
when I fold laundry, when I cut carrots and roll out pie
dough. I pray when I sweep the front porch or water flowers
or see birds or sing. Prayer is an important part of my
daily life.

Expect Joy
Sometimes I miss the little pieces of joy that are
around me.

Accept Grace
Accepting grace is far more difficult than it
seems. Part of it is having faith and sometimes mine wavers.

That's a start. I'll see where it leads me in the next few
weeks.


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