Secrets you will Never know
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2004-12-31 02:59:47 (UTC)

Mind Game

So i know i dont want a "relationship", but as i was reading
my entries i said to myself am i alowing myself to be a
booty call? And this made me think, it that whats best for
me right now? I mean sure the no strings attached is there,
but already he has stolen a part of my heart, taht was
inevidable. And i really don't want to get hurt again,
because after last time another broken relationship just
might literally kill me. and yet my life watching him
without being able to explore those sensual and passionate
feelings towards him would be me basking in tub of lava. My
head is running in cirlces, and actually i have a head-ache,
i havent had anything to eat today and barely any sleep, and
i think it might be because of him. Now it sounds like i am
allowing him to take control over me, but he's not, im jsut
in my thinking stage. When i look at myself from out of my
own box i realize i dont know who i am, because i find
myself contradicting from time to time.