scarredxfears

Insomniacs United
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2004-12-30 01:09:45 (UTC)

Lost friend

Don't get me wrong, I think that it is great that my friend
has finally gotten herself a boyfriend. But does she have
to spend every waking moment with him? Again, don't get me
wrong. I am not jealous and I couldn't be happier for her,
but I am really starting to miss her.

It's bad enough that my best friend doesn't even go to the
same school as me, but what is worse is that I never get to
even see her anymore. I feel like week by week I am losing
her and soon she is going to be lost forever. She has
changed a lot and it feels like I don't even know her
anymore. I call her and every time she actually answers the
phone she says that she is with him and can't talk right
now, that she will call me back. The problem, is that she
never does call me back.

Also, I don't wany anyone reading this to think that I
refer to him, simply out of spite. I don't. However, I do
not want anyone I know to come across this diary, so for
that matter, names will not be mentioned here. I just, I
don't know, I really miss her. I called her less than an
hour ago, and of course she was with her boyfriend. I
haven't seen her in weeks, but she manages to see him like
everyday. I'm sorry, but from my point of view...it really
sucks.

Alright, time for a new topic. My diet seems to be doing
good. Actually, I wouldn't consider my diet healthy, in the
least bit, but what are you going to do? If I can lose some
weight by the end of vacation, then I will be a little
happy. What I do not appreciate is the fact that my ex
boyfriend aka the stalker..had the balls to say that he was
o.k with it if I dieted. Who the hell is he to tell me what
I can or cannot do with my life? He constantly says to just
be yourself in any way that you can, just be yourself.
Well...if he wants me to be myself, he can start by not
being such a creep.

I'm scared. I'm scared to live my life the way I want to.
There will always be expectations that I am not able to
meet, whether my friends or my family. I just try to
survive in this world, by my ways. If this is not good
enough for people well, I guess that is just too bad.

Well that's it for now. It felt good to get that out. The
fact that no one I know knows about this diary, makes me
feel even better. Thank you for listening. I hope I didn't
waste your time.


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