Tired Of Acting like an Adult.
2004-12-29 16:28:04 (UTC)

Tired of Acting like an Adult..

Its about 5 days after christmas and it was a sucky one
at that it snowed so bad we had to postpone my families
dinner till monday , i havent really enjoyed christmas
since i was young i feel like its a hurtful time for so
many people and children, and for this i think it should
be cancelled off the calendar, there are so many children
who have divorced parents, who either there parents are
druggies or selfish and for this the children get nothing
hardly at all to open, and then there are those who get a
lot and dont appreciate anything and gripe an complain,
this makes me sick, my parents are still married and they
made our christmas suck they argued for 2 months prior to
christmas this also had an effect on how i feel about
christmas, my mom was a very cheap person my dad made very
good money, but my mom spent it on cheap stuff for us and
it broke or tore up in no time, its better to buy quality
than quantity, but she never learned and i almost became
that way until i realized on gift of value is worth more
than 5 of cheapedness., true, its just during the month of
christmas i am a grouch i dont show it because i am an
adult and i have to hide it, its hard being an adult when
all i do is lie , for example, my husband will ask what do
you want for christmas honey? and me being and adult has
to say oh nothing its all about the kids, as long as the
kids have gifts im not worried about me, when deep down
inside i am still a kid i want to unwrap those gifts just
as bad as the kids i like surprises just as much as a kid
but i have to pretend that its not important, when inside
i want things to, im tired of wearinf the same shoes i
have had for years and the same bra's and clothes i cant
be pretty to my husband if all i have is unattractive
things to wear, this i believe is why men seek out other
women for they think there women dont care about there
appearances anymore when trust me men we really do we just
cant afford to be pretty we havent got the money and when
we do , you en come up with something you want like a
motorcycle, a boat, a new engine thats faster because
yours isnt fast enough, i mean come on, I like to feel
pretty and attractive to, i like to wear makeup and fix my
hair and smell pretty, but i dont work so i dont have
anything to do this with, and for my birthday i get this,
oh ill get you something next payday and then when that
payday comes he says oh we have so many bills, and i have
to be the adult and say oh well honey use that mmoney you
were giving me for my birthday and pay blls without
hesitation he does,im left out in the cold again , because
i was being an adult,being and adult sucks somethimes , if
you remember life flies by look in the mirror you were
just a teenager yesterday and now you getting grey and
wrinkled, and actinf like and adult seems to leave you
empty handed . why cant i say i want my birthday money you
promised me, and take it and actually by something you cna
feel pretty and sexy in,im so sick of being polite and
really trying to convince myself its the right thing to do
when i know inside i want things too.does anyone out there
understand me???