kiddo16

NaivetY & ChildhooD LefT BehinD
2004-12-29 12:44:22 (UTC)

PaUpEr

Hmmm... I kept thinking about what happen yesterday. That
look in his eyes I can't forget. Till now, I don't
understand what happen. It tells me something but I am
scared to let it out. I am scared that I've assume
wrongly. And once I assume wrongly I am scared that I will
hope for something that is never really there.
I am scared. What if it's real? I mean what am I going to
do? What if it's not? What am I going to do?
Now don't tell me that I have something there for him. I
am not sure of myself. Coz all this while I have a lot of
this kind thing happening. And it have broken my heart a
lot of times.
Well, enough of that. Now at this moment, I am sure that
my class is having a lot of fun together. I could imagine
them laughing and talking out loud at the center of the
restaurant.
I am not sure which restaurant that they go to. All I know
they must have been somewhere in town enjoying themselves
and not a need to think about home and other minor stuff.
I am so jealous that I am not able to attend that
gathering. I really wanted to go but I can't simply be
selfish and just go without thinking about my family's
meal the day after.
How I wish that our situation is better. Without never a
day need to be afraid or even think about what we are
going to eat tomorrow.
People might see us one rich family with all the materials
available. Truthfully, we got nothing in our hands. All
this materials in our house, well I mean uhhmmm...
appliances, won't get us anywhere. Without a day of food,
we will still suffer.
I can't take it anymore. The thought of other people
families are surviving well compared to the situation of
my family trying to survive in this world is unbearable.
Each time this thought came out, I could never be able and
ever got to be confident in front of other people. As I
see myself as one pauper.




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