faeryfriend

Buffy
2004-12-28 23:58:48 (UTC)

scared and thinking

morgan left this morning and last night we were talking and
before that he spent the day here. ok that was backwards...
morgan came over yesterday and it was really fun, i was
happy. i love being with him, i acually feel happy. i feel
really safe with him, like nothing can hurt me or bother me
or anything. it's perfect. and then he left, and i talked
to him last night and i realized how much i'm going to miss
him. it's 6 days, last time he was gone for 6 days i broke
up with him and i'm afraid i'll do it again. i'm afraidof
what i'll do if he isn't there to catch me, i'm afraid i'll
fall with no one to help me stand. kd is in mexico and
morgan's 3000 miles away in the middle of no where. and i'm
gonna be at the lake, driving fast and taking chances
because it makes my heart race and tells me i'm still
alive. sometimes that's the only way. i can't wait to go
tho. besides the fact that the whole time i'll be thinking
of morgan and how great it was last time we were there
because i could fall asleep in his arms and wake up and
he'd still be holding me. i need to talk to nick and see if
he can get me some shit before i go. i would do it tonight
but i have my driving test tomorrow at 9:30 and i have to
be completely awake and thinking for that. ahh i'm so
scared i'll fail and have to wait another month to get it.
i'm more afraid of failing the driving part than the
written because the written i'd only have to wait a week.
omg there are so many things. mandi and kt's brother made
out last night. morgan's gone. meryl and kt are talking
again. meryl's been reading my diary, which was a really
big shock and idk if i like it. idk i guess i have to watch
what i write now. god this is so confusing and i'm tired
constantly idk why. my eyes hurt, i miss my boyfriend and
i'm scared. i need to focus, maybe i'll paint my nails.

scared and lonely




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