Shade

Feelings and thoughts about...
2004-12-27 00:33:02 (UTC)

First post.

Hi dear diary.

Here we go, just me and you, and nobody else exept us. I
hope I can trust you and I can express myself however I
want. I hope you will be like a mirrow of my damaged soul.
I hope you know ho to keep a secrets and you will never
tell to anyone about my thoughts, feelings, sometimes my
pain or happytimes in my life. I hope you will be a best
friend for me. I hope... You are my last chance, because I
am tired to believe in big things like devotion,
friendship, honesty, I am trying, but I cannot find this
things anymore, they dissapeared, and will never come
back.... I know, I am to young to think like this, I am
just 21, you'll say how young you are, but it is not
truth...I feel older than my grandma, and it's truth. I
don't know why, after you'll know my life story, you'll
know that it wasn't really hard. But , may be I am
thinking as a kid, who thinks that he knows a lot and he
is already big and can do anything. :) May be ... I don't
know.
Sorry, may be I'll do a lot of mistackes, but you have to
know , that English is not my native language and I am not
speaking it everyday. It's just easier for me to express
myself on this language, because I don't know French that
good, to be able to express myself on it, and I don't like
Russian, it is difficult, sometimes to pick a word from
the same category, it is too rich, and if I'll try to
express myself on Russian, it will take a PAGES !!! :) so,
English is a good alternative. :)
Well, I'll think about how to organize my writings. I
think I'll devide it on sections:
1) The Past - there I'll write some storys from my
childhood and teenages
2) The Present - just a stuff what is going on now
3) My Thoughts
4) My feelings
That's it ! So, hope, my dear diary, you'll help me a lot,
not by giving me advice , just because you'll be the best
listener for me.
Only one thing, which I cannot promise you. :) I know I am
too bad, so I am not promising you to leave a notes
regulary :) Sorry, it's just my habbit. :)
Well, I will start....


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