How Do I Tell Them...
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2004-12-26 09:27:40 (UTC)

I Have No Control Over Me

Wow...some crappy christmas that was...i just cant believe
how angry i can get and how sad i can be the next
minute... all i know is over the course of the last few
days i have found out that i may have polycystic ovarian
syndrome (pcos)... as well as one of my dear friends
mothers passed away on christmas day... and i dont know
what to say or do or feel... i feel blank... i cant
imagine how at 18 i would feel to lose my mother to
cancer... i get angry at myself because i dont know what
to do or feel or anything... i hate not knowing what to
think. i just want to feel ok about all of this but i
dont, i feel angry that whilst all over the world we were
celebrating and she was sitting in a hospital holding her
mums hand as she passed away... i am so angry at myself
for celebrating something i dont really believe in while
her family had to suffer... every year will pass and i
dont think i will ever forget carly and her mum as
christmas will pass by...

I Have No Control Anymore...

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