amanda

my so called life
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2004-12-22 00:15:04 (UTC)

tarot readings

okay well a couple weeks ago i was at the gyno and they called
and said i have an unusual papsmear reading, which could mean
cervix cancer, which that would have to be cut out cuasing me to
be unable to carry a child becuase my cervix linning will be weak.
i say children are little hellians, but in reality i really wanna be a
mother. so yesterday i was at matts house and he did a tarot
reading that basicly said i wont be able to have children. at first he
was hessitant to tell me what the cards ment, but after he told me
he calmed me down and we had a nice chat in his bed (in the
dark) lol. so today he called and said that he was wrong and the
cards ment something else, but i really think he said that to make
me feel better. so thursday i go to back and they are going to do a
procedure to see whats going on "down there" thats going to make
my holidays marry if cancer shows up. i should wait until after
christmas to go, but the anticipation is killing me. two days before
christmas is really stressfull. i kinda want to ask matt to go with me
but , i dont wanna make him uncomfy. although he has seen my
hoo-hoo pleanty of times. i dunno... i guess i shouldnt worry until i
know for sure that something is wrong....


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