benatarRocker84

goddess of imaginary light
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2004-12-20 08:16:46 (UTC)

stupid girl

why is so hard to be with me?
i could state name after name of people who were never
quite sure if they could be with me...like it was my
decision (cause ive had them say that to me)
i got to the point where i said if youre not sure you want
me then how could i sacrifice my self by being with you,
someone whos...well, not quite sure...but...whatever??
how do they say they care and use that as a reason to not
be with me....i mean....some things i understand...past
has alot to do with everything and i dont want to force
anything if theyre not ready, but sometimes it just kills
me
there was one guy i like for at least a year and some
more...and he was back and forth...whats so unloveable
about me? why is it so hard?????
this is a stupid explanation but its my only good way to
think through it....
SEX AND THE CITY (those of you who know me...stop
laughing....)
carrie and mr big, why is it so hard for him to be with
her? why couldnt he realize it...they seperated and he
married someone else...fine. her thought process was of
the movie"the way we were" about how he settled for the
uncomplicated girl, the one who looked good on
paper....carrie was far from that and mr big couldnt
handle it....
thats where i am...im too complicated for them to
handle...but im not gonna change.....

back to the basics....i always like the ones
whose "baggage" keeps me away inevitably....im so torn...i
want them to know that they want to be with me, but yet
the guys who say how much they want to be with me....i
could care less about...why am i a heartless bitch!!??
why, why, why,....why cant things be so much easier.....
i like where i am in my life, who im with...but i just
cant help thinking what was wrong with everything else?

well....im done ranting.....stupid girl


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