maddie and becca

the renie story
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2004-12-18 21:09:27 (UTC)

Chapter Fourteen

"My, kids! I didn't expect you'd already be at it!" said
the cheerful voice of Mr. Wu. "At your age..." He
chuckled. "When I was a boy - or rather a girl, you know,
up until about eleven, when I decided I'd rather live as a
man - we waited until sixteen or so. And you two only
thirteen. My, my, my. Well, it was your decision, I guess.
I certainly hope you remembered about birth control.
Shouldn't like a kid so early, would you?" And he strolled
into the room, opening the shades.

Irene groaned, opened her eyes, and saw (ew!) that Steven
Wu's arms were wrapped around her. She felt instantly
quesy, and wrenched herself out of his embrace.

Steven lay there, savoring everything. Irene may have been
unconscious, but the fact still remained that he had
gotten veryveryvery close to her and lived.

Mr. Wu beamed upon Irene. "It's always strange, the
morning after the first time, isn't it?" he said
kindly. "I must say I didn't expect it, but those raging
teenage hormones..."

Irene walked into the bathroom to find a razor and slit
her wrists.

Steven didn't bring a razor. Neither had Irene. She
attempted to strangle herself with the shower curtains,
but it didn't work. She contented herself with hitting her
head on the door. Several times.

She walked back into the room, rather dizzy. Steven looked
at her, wondering if she was dizzy because she was in love
with him. He had heard that love made people go around in
circles, and Irene was certainly doing that.

"Time to get home!" said Mr. Wu.

"THANK GOD!!!" cried Irene.

Mr. Wu and Steven looked at her reproachfully.

"Now, little Irene," said Mr. Wu scoldingly, "if you want
to be a part of this family - "

"I don't," muttered Irene.

" - then you'll have to remember: We don't say 'Thank God."

"We don't?" said Irene.

"Of course not."

"We say," said Steven, looking at her feet, rather than
her chest area, "thank the Gods of math."

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