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2004-12-18 04:10:29 (UTC)

December 17th Brewster's "rape" intent

I am so tired of bull shit! Everyday it is the same
fucking shit...."I want this and your gonna give it to me,
or you will be gone" That's about all I here. If I wanted
to be mentally abused every other day, then I would have
stayed with Lee. That's how I feel at this point. The only
diffrence in Lee and Brewster is that Brewster don't hit
me.....yet. Also, at least Lee treated me better when we
wasn't fighting. Sometimes I don't feel the need to be on
this stupid Earth. The only reason I'm still here is
because of Kay and Jen. Tonight Brewster is going to a
Bachelor party for my mom's fiance. His friend called and
want to go out too, so I imagine he will be going out to
get drunk too. He gets to do all this shit and I get to
stay at the house. He says that I can do whatever I want,
but I know that if I ask him if I can go out when he is
home that he would flip out. Tonight he told me that if I
was asleep when he got home that he was going to wake me
up for sex. Even if I didn't want it "you better get to
wanting it by time I get home, cause I'm getting it
anyways." I love him, but I hate him and he disgust me at
the same time. I just want to leave and get out of this
hell hole with my kids. They don't deserve to put up with
his bull shit. That's why I'm looking for a job. I can't
live here anymore!! I'm afraid I'm gonna kill myself
before too much longer if I stay here. My babies need me.
I have to get out soon!!! I don't have anywhere else to go
or I would leave now. Somebody HELP me!!!!!!!!!

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