Kame

The life of one screwed up bitch
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2004-12-16 15:10:27 (UTC)

bordom

it takes over your mind, as you slowly go crazy with it!_!
I am bored though, I have really nothing to talk about and
nothing to do. I want to leave this house but I can't
right now. I just called into work to see if I worked
today and I got no answer so I have no idea. I left a
message though so maybe someone will call me back. Anyway
I really don't know what else to say I bored and tierd.
I'm also cold now that I think about it. I think last
night I was thinking about all the stuff I wanted to say to
my mom but can't. I mostly only tell her that she is a
bitch or I tell her to go to hell but besides that I can't
tell her how I really feel. I really feel that ever since
my brother was born 14 years ago she has been ignoring me.
I was only 4 when he was born but I still remember. I know
that baby's need A LOT of attention but even as he got
older she favored him over me, and never paid me any
attention. After my brother was born and I found that my
mom didn't care for me anymore I turned to my great grandma
she became like my second mother (more like first) she
loved me and cared for me when I needed it like my real mom
was supposed to do. Then she died, and then I realized
what I was missing from my relationship with my mom, I
didn't change how I felt about her I just realized it and
am now able to show how I really feel about her. My mom
pritty much destroyed my life. She can't see what she is
doing wrong infact she thinks she is doing nothing wrong.
I don't understand how she can't see what she has been
doing to me I hate it and I hate her. I wish that I could
be like every other girl and love my mom but I don't and I
can't bc of what she has done to me. She still treats my
brother with more love than she could ever show me. She
baby's him and gives him things he doesn't need I would
like to have some attention from her but it just is not
going to happen so I gave up. Anyway I think I am done
rambling about my stupid mother and what not.
Kame


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