Codesmith

Life, Or Something Like It
2004-12-15 03:56:03 (UTC)

First Day of Winter Break

It's 1214, Tuesday. 946pm. It's snowing. I can always tell
by the pinkish hue in the sky. I figured that's not normal
for the sky, I mean ... it only seems to occur at night. I
can only imagine it's some sort of refraction of street
lights. Their flourescent. I think, maybe that has
something to do with why the sky looks pink.

I was just talking with Mel earlier. We had a cute, fun
little conversation. She had to go though, because someone
was expecting a phone call. Not to mention, she hasn't
quite finished her project yet. Her project being this
book she's doing for the local government. I'm probably
making it sound more impressive than it should be, but I
am impressed. Mainly cause I've never known an author
personally. I don't call her very often, but ... at the
end of every conversation she always tells me she loves me.
It seems to almost be ritual.

So I tried to call Echo just now. She didn't answer.

Echo and I had an alright talk on the phone. I believe it
was about an hour or so ago that we got off the phone. She
was tired. It would be lying to say that I don't feel a
bit upset. Upset that I didn't get to talk with her
longer. I don't know. She went to her boyfriend's house
today. She wrote me earlier saying she would be back
around six or seven her time. I was expecting to talk to
her for a long while, but we didn't really get that
chance. I'm a bit angry, but ... I don't have that right
in this situation. So it's suppressed.

At least ... I can sort of still do that. Suppress to some
degree how I feel.

It just reminded me about what the Thespian and I talked
about earlier. It just ... I don't know. It made sense to
me, and I don't know why I never did it earlier. But maybe
that's the mixture of depression and being upset talking.

Anyway. I'm enjoying the first day of winter break. Well
not really. I feel kind of restless. I mean, the sleeping
in is really nice, but ... I guess the not talking to Echo
is putting me into something of a withdrawal phase. I hate
being in this phase. For many reasons, and not just the
obvious.

Lori's suppose to be coming over in a bit. We're suppose
to be watching movies tonight, but to be honest I don't
really feel like doing that. I'll probably try to get out
of it and go online or ... try to get Lori to do something
else with me.

Do I deserve whatever happens to me? I think so. I
remember this time I was in class in middleschool, this
teacher of mine was talking about the ideas of fate and
what not. Well, according to a very Christian perspective.
She was telling the class, that the phrase "Life isn't
fair" was only unfair to people who were pessimists.

Ironic how things have turned out for me.

Anyway, it's been an alright night. I mean, I got to talk
with Mel a bit. She always makes me laugh. Especially when
she was telling me about the book she's doing ... Well,
nothing in the book per se. More like her schedule
business. I mean, it's kind of why we got off the phone a
bit early. A "mock up" of the book is due tomorrow. I
asked her if she was anywhere near done, and she said in
something of a rather quiet voice, "No". She's so cute.
So, I imagine she's working on it frantically as we speak.

... I'm not sure how that happens. I mean, how do you work
on the mock up of a book like that? I guess it wasn't nice
that I laughed a bit at her. I mean, I wasn't laughing at
her. I was just laughing at the situation. Wihch ... I
guess is almost the same thing. I'll make it up to her
tomorrow.

I'm talking with Miss December at the moment. She always
makes me remember ... things. Not as in, forcefully makes
me remember things. It's just when I talk to her, she
always reminds me of things she's told me in the past. I
don't mean like, she interjects our conversation with
things from the past ... it's just when I talk with her,
I'm reminded of things that she's told me. It's like a
memory trigger. The things we use to talk about in the
past were about how women acted. What made them tick and
so forth. I think one of these days I might have to relate
some of the things she's told me. Just because they're
so ... well, they're quite useful.

I don't really know what I'm saying. On an unrelated and
random note, ... I think I like saying the word "random".
It's what Rachel and her friend like to say everytime I
bring up something ... interesting. It's cute. I think I
might say it more often.

I think I'll end this here for now.




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