Charles Deason

My Blue Sky
2004-11-29 12:27:07 (UTC)

Life Goes On...

Astrid and I have not yet broken up... The pain in my
heart has subsided finally at least to a point where I can
think and live again. I... spoke to everyone about it, my
grandmother took it hard, my dad did his best to help me
get on with my life, and my friends and brother supported
me as well. I even met some people on the internet who went
through even worse than me and that helped out a lot.
I've...even come to a decision. I've decided to just...
ride things out. Because I have no other choice. I don't
want to break up with her... and if I did I would have to
then decide whether or not on going to see her. Even if she
does break up with me, I don't think she could hurt me any
more than she already has. I was soooo close to ending it
between us too... But I just.. decided to give her a second
chance. Everyone deserves that much at least. I doubt
she'll get me anything at all for my birthday or christmas
though. But I've already decided on buying her something
good. I'm not in denile, and I know it would be better to
just screw it and give up....but I can't. My heart just
won't allow me to let go of her. My best option now then
would be to take it easy, I can't afford to feel how did
again... I'll stop expecting so much from her and just
focus on my own priorities. I want us both to be happy, and
I think the only way we can do this now would be for me to
take some time to think... My father is right after all.
There are plenty of women out there...but I'm also right...
theres only one Astrid. As long as tells me that she loves
me, and doesn't cheat on me... Things should work out ok.
By the way, I simply asked her if she broke up with me, and
all she said was no. Thats why I've had a change of heart.
I'll go now, and update sooner or later.




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