RENT

I luv NY
2004-11-25 05:49:43 (UTC)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I love the holidays! Gosh, I haven't written in here in
like, forever. Not much has changed, though. You know how
it is. The only friends I've really been hanging out with
outside of school are Beah and Sam. And occasionally Ash
and Jules. It's not that I don't love Beah and Sam, but I
need to make some new friends, too. Well not really NEW
friends...just better friends. I have a ton of friends in
school...it just takes so much effort to develop
friendships outside of school...you always just shift into
your comfort zone. That should be my New Year's Resolution.
To develop my friendships. Also, to destress myself, get in
shape, and find a boyfriend. Which actually might happen
sooner than I thought...lol I've been talking to Nate more
and more. Mostly on the internet, occasionally on the
phone...but I haven't been able to go to church, so I
haven't seen him. I definetley think we could develop into
something more than friends...and I know he likes me. I
know this sounds weird, but it's hard to seperate what I'm
REALLY feeling, and what I WANT myself to feel. I like him
as a friends for sure...and even as a crush...but I don't
know if I could see myself going out with him or not. But
he certainly has the impression I do...and I HAVE helped
him to think that...but theres always that ONE voice in the
back of my head nagging me..."The person you REALLY love is
Sam." My conscience or God? Lol I don't know. I guess I'm
just afraid that when I finally DO get a boyfriend (It's
hard to believe, isn't it), which it appears like it's
going to be Nate....that Sam and I will grow apart. And
never in a million YEARS do I want that to happen. But it's
kind of inevitable that it will once on of us starts
dating. I don't know, maybe I'm making a too huge deal out
of this, but it's just something to think about. SO
anyways, theres a lock-in at church Friday, and I guess
we'll just see what happens...though I think we all know
what will. I'm so confused. I need to talk to Beah, but her
line is busy..and has been for a few minutes.
SO the bad news about Thanksgiving is Tina isn't coming
afterall. I'm so sad. When I got off the phone with her
today, I cried I was so upset. I just miss her so much.
Yeah, I'm at Mike's, it's 12:43, the girls are asleep, he
promised to be back by one, and I'm BORED and tired of
typing. WOW I already feel better, at least about one minor
issue -BOY TROUBLE! lol I promise myself to start writing
more.

Love, Sara

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!

*MuaH*




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