2004-11-25 01:20:13 (UTC)

Phone Card!!!

I am one real lazy ass. I need to talk to my best friend
now for about a real long time. Since about five minutes
after we spoke last. I really miss you Teresa. Besides
that, I seem to always not have anyone to talk to. I mean,
there are always people there. Always someone I can talk
to, but not you. You are a fragile, priceless,
irriplacable gem. The most prized in my box of friends. Do
you know that feeling you get after talking to either 60
people in one day, or just to one or two, maybe three, but
for a couple of hours, yet not enough has been said? I
keep feeling that.

I'm really upset that as of about a week or two ago, my
computer completely bust. I unplugged the whole damned
operation. I don't think I even have e-mail. Oh well. The
only bad thing is that I have work related e-mails that I
get. Well, one way or another, I really would like to talk
to someone. Someone I can connect with. I talk to this one
new friend of mine. Her name is Christina. She's 18 and
really inspiringly cool. Thing is, we don't have the same
mindset. So no matter how long we could possibaly talk
for, I would still feel this uncomfortableness as though I
still have something I need to get off my chest. I do
still have something on my chest.

It's a guy. I can't believe what an unbelievably good
flirt he is. It's the day before thanksgiving and it began
to snow. I'm sitting by him for the first time since we
have a mutual friend who I was to go to class with in
about an hour. So the first thing he starts discussing is
the whether. How it's going to snow today. (He's saying
this to my friends boyfriend) Then he goes into how would
like to kiss a girl just as the first snowflakes fall.
That it would be romantic. I doubted this guy has anything
close to a romantic side, but I guess it's there. Now it's
snowing and all I can think of is the image he impregnated
me with. DAMN.

There's more, I keep thinking of this guy that speaks
french that I just met about a couple of weeks ago. He's
very nice and I would like to get together with him soon
so we can talk some more. French is so attractive.

Next, there's one more that I'm vaguely going to mention.
I don't want to be attracted to him. Physically, I am not
attracted to him. But I cannot help but think about him in
ways that I don't want to, in a relationship, kiss type
matter. This isn't right. This might be really weird, he
is not attractive at all. I only become attracted to guys
with physical beauty. This is way weird.

Must talk to somebody. DAH!

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