Beauty Within

Fuck Me Pretty
2004-11-19 02:22:00 (UTC)

Honesty

Right out of my other diary, just wanted you to know:

Becca: I've wanted her around so much latley. She always
make me laugh and she always calms me down, I don't know
why. She always knows just what to say and when to say,
how to say it and when to be supportive and when to fight
back. Shes knows when I need someone to talk to me or when
I need someone to just listen. When I need to cry or just
sit in silence. She always knows, every damn time she
knows. and I love her so much for it. I just wish I could
be there for her more. I fucking hate Sean for all he has
done to her. That fucking little shit can go to hell for
all i care. But he can't die... if he dies I'm afraid
she'll end it all. I couldn't take all this bullshit
without her, I just couldn't, not ever. Sean, if your
listening... you better watch out in hell... cuz im coming
after your ass. and believe me, I won't be alone.

Melanie: I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss all
the things that make her as happy as she was before he
hurt her. Before he did what he did... before... hurt.
Shes so beautiful, if I wanted any girl it would be her.
Her or Becca. I always felt so lucky when we had
something, those nights when just something would happen.
We knew we shouldn't have and we are so lucky it
didn't ruin anything in our friendship. Sometimes I miss
her but sometimes I'm glad that we will never be anything
more than just friends. Her friendships means a lot to me,
I know she is lost right now, I just wish there was
something I could do.

Kendall: She's hiding so much, a life time of studies
could never even begin to fathom all that runs through her
head. All that makes her the amazing creature she is. But
you can see it in her eyes that she hurts, but only if you
know her. If you passed her in the halls you would assume
she was just like you... happy, fine, no problems, no
depth. But she is so much more than that. She is one of
the most intelligant people I know, she loves the
challenge and the adventure and she's fun and sexy and...
she's Kendall. No other word could better explain the
person she is. She is who she is, there will never be
another person like her in the world and I could not be
more lucky to know her.

Ali: Ali Ali Ali, beautiful Ali. God what an amazing girl.
Sometimes I feel though... like I ruined her life by
coming back into it. She was so happy, she didn't have all
the drama that comes with being good friends with me. But
then I introduced her to Geno and she got hurt and
suddenly when we started becoming good friends again...
her life was so hurt and she hated herself like I hate
myself. She should never say those things about herself,
god she is beautiful and amazing and crazy and so
exuberant and full of life. She deserves so much and Geno
really passed up a prize when he let her go... the guy who
has her will hold the world in his hands.

Mand: I miss that girl. God I miss her so much. Looking at
pictures of her, reading her diary, seeing pictures of
Mason, hearing of her happiness and pain... it hurts so
much to know that all of these things are passing by
without me. She has no choice to live without me, and me
without her. I hate not being near to her, I hate that I
can't drive, cuz I swear to god if I could drive I would
go to her even if I just needed a hug. Even if it was for
five minutes, I would see her whenever I can... I would be
there. I would wake up at 3 in the morning if she called
me crying and drive over there and pick her up and take
her to Safeway where we could sit in the empty parking lot
eating Ben and Jerry's Ice cream. If only...

Malia: oooh Malia, where do I start? I have her last for a
reason, there is just so much to say. I could get lost in
her, in her soul, in her depth, in her love. She is dark,
she is mysterious, she is loving, she is beauty, she is
anything she wants to be. She's my best friend. Everything
she wears, every way she styles her hair all the way down
to the things written on her shoes, make up who she is.
Make up every ounce of fabrication that goes deep inside
of her mind. Oh her mind, I wish I could have her mind. So
imaginative and creative and all these wonderful wonderful
beautiful things come right out of that mind for just the
whole world to see. If you really know her and talk to her
and see her like I do you would learn to many things. She
really is one of those people where you could spend the
whole day talking to her and walk away saying "I want to
be a better person, I want to try, I want to be so much
like her" and she would watch you walk away, hoping that
she helped you see how amazing you are... but never
knowing herself that she is everything and more. Because
there is no one like her to tell her, to help her
understand. You could never find, make, or even dream up
someone like her. Sometimes I think she is even to complex
for herself, but I love everything about her. I learn
something new from her or about her everyday.

These people... they are what life really is for me. They
aren't the only people, but they are a big part. They put
a smile on my face and hope in my back pocket. The hope
and faith I'll never lose in them.




Ad: