Palindromes at McDonald's
so on friday i decide to indulge in a dinner served up by
nobody else than Mr. McDonald. yes i've seen supersize me
and yes i felt damn guilty. but dear god does it taste
good, as the movie said, it's meant to be good! anyhow,
there i went, running in on a cold rainy night. i go up to
the counter and notice that the cashier about to take my
order looks like 50 cent only a little bit more dangerous.
i order a double quarter pounder meal and get $4.44 back in
change. when the guy says:
"that's a palindrome."
"yes it is."
"same backwards and forwards."
"fries are gonna take a while, damn mexicans don't know how
to cook them."
now right here i just figure, be quiet nick, but i hate that
awkward silence and i just envisioned me standing there with
50 staring blankly ahead, should i start a conversation? i
mean it's not like he's asking me where i go to school or if
i have a job, he probably wants to be silent.
"so you go to college or you got a job, or sumtin?"
"got a job."
"what is that a handicapped lawyer?"
i burst out laughing and he grinned.
"nawh, it's a legal assistant, i help the lawyer."
"so why didn't you call yourself a legal assistant?"
"i don't know my title is paralegal. i guess they're the same."
"yeah, you should use legal assistant, makes you sound like
less of a pretentious prick."
by now i was uncomfortable and really wanted to move but the
mexicans in the back weren't even thinking about putting the
"i mean you're pretty cool though, i mean shit, you should
see most people they fucking stand there and i stand here
and we just stand around in a big awkward ass silence. least
you talk to me, i respect that."
"yeah, i kind of got that from my dad, he always said that
people love to talk, so don't think you should just stand
around, when you can listen."
"he seems like a smart dude."
"damn, pedro! i gotta do everything round here?"
he puts the fries in.
"all these pedro's, i know they hate me. just cos i can
speak english i'm up here, i fucking hate this job."
he leaned himself on the counter and looked out the dirty
"you go to school."
to this he let out an exhaustive sigh.
"i look like i go to school? yeah i fucking hold down a job
and go to community college, that's what i should be doing,
"well you know what a palindrome is."
i immediately wished ihadn't said that, boy did it sound
"yeah and i also know how to dress myself and eat, i'm real
"what the fuck kind of dumbass question is that?"
(read my entry of 'lawyer gets balls crushed' to gain
meaning). i tell him bout the episode.
"ha, i didn't know lawyers were that stupid."
"it's not really intelligence, it's thinking you can do what
you want, whether or not you can takes you the rest of the way."
"that's some deep shit, you should be a counselor at a
he looked back at the finished fries, got up and brought
them over and threw them in next to my 15 minute old double
"stop eating here and stop calling yourself a paralegal.
one will kill ya and the other makes you sound like a prick.
that's my advice to you........you know in repayment for the
pep talk you've been giving me."
"ha, ok, i'll do both."
"yeah, you do that."
he nods and i duck out, freezing fucking cold ass rain.