poeticgem

My sometimes coherent thoughts
2004-11-08 16:43:05 (UTC)

Rain Down

It seems to all be raining down on my head and it's taking
all my strength to remember that no matter how bad I think
I've got it there are plenty others who have it much worse;
all my strength to remember that God never gives me more
than I can handle; all my strength to convince myself that
THIS TOO SHALL PASS ... that everything happens for a
reason and this is just a phase she's going through. It's
taking so much strength, emotional & mental, to convince
myself to keep on going, not to throw in the towel ... not
to give up ... not to cry because tears won't bring about
resolution to anything.

"JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, TELL HOW YOU FEEL ... TELL ME
WHAT YOU NEED ... "

We can't continue cohabitating like this. It's not healthy
for either of us and it's going to destroy us if I don't
find some answers. She's only getting worse in her
attitude and disrespect towards me, consistently uncaring
towards her school work ... it got so ugly yesterday that a
physical altercation ensued and it didn't seem to matter to
her that it all took place right in front of her friend,
Madison.

I really don't know what it's going to take to bring
positive change, but I'm ready to do whatever is
necessary. So at 9:00 I'm heading over to talk to some
Detectives in the West Valley division, when I filed the
missing person's report, the lady cops who came over told
me about this particular division that I should talk to
these detectives about because my daughter is walking a
fine line right now and could go either way ... which I am
very much aware of and want to do everything to ensure that
she heads the right way rather than the wrong way ...
Also, I'm going to call a high school that Madison's mom
said has a fantastic continuation program, which may be
just what Chantelle needs right now in order to succeed in
and pass high school.

So, bottom line, is GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELPS THEMSELVES.
SO, GOD, I AM MAKING THE EFFORTS, THE ULTIMATE RESULTS ARE
IN YOUR HANDS, BUT I'M BEGGING FOR THE STRENGTH TO DO WHAT
IS RIGHT BY DAUGHTER BECAUSE YOU KNOW I LOVE HER MORE THAN
LIFE ITSELF.

ok, nuff said ... thank God, I'm working for Simon so I can
have the freedom to go take care of things like this ...

ciao for now




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