Beauty Within

Fuck Me Pretty
2004-11-02 02:46:04 (UTC)

MAND!!!! READ THIS!!!

omg hahahahaha! I found this in my e-mail, it's at least a
year old! hahaha

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Me: tard
Mand: you like it
Me: lol
Mand: HA!
Mand: *points finger*
Mand: I KNEW IT!!!

Me: *gasp* YOU'LL NEVA CATCH ME!!!!! *runs smack into a
wall and is unconcious... is past out point at shoulder
mumbling something about elbow brain cells*

Mand: ah, but i have already caught you!! the lawn gnomes
have betrayed you once again!!! *evil cackle* *cough*
*clears throat* HAHA

Me: *Wakes up still pointing at shoulder* *Runs towards
door not looking ahead* I will get you lawn gnomes!!!
BASTARDS!!!! I will eat your toes and take every single
one of your first born children!!!! *runs through door and
takes door with her running into tree outside the door*

Mand: *crowd gathers around to point and laugh at the
idiot smashed into the tree holding a door*

Me: **tree suddenly falls crushing the gathering crowd
once laughing at the idiot that smashed into a tree
holding a door* *idiot gets up and runs screaming* YOU'LL
NEVER EAT ME ALIVE!!!!!

Mand: *crowd works together with their in-human strength
and pushes tree off and launches it 20 yards away. dazed
crowd gets up and runs after the screaming idiot chanting
indian war whoops* I I I I I I I I I I I I I ((thats what
it sounds like))

Me: *Idiot runs to the amnimal store and buys an attack
dog and sets the beast on the dazed in human strengthed
crowd and then buys an elephant and goes down the street
on her new prized elephant*

Mand: *the three survirors of the dog attack begin to
crawl after the idiot and her new prized elephant. the
elephant stops to take a shit....a HUGE shit...i mean
MASSIVE...and the 3 survivors catch up and pull out keys
and the leader of the "pack" screams at the top of her
lungs* KEY THE ELEPHANT!!!!!!!!!!

Me: **the idiot suddenly yells "FASTER TARZAN!!!!* and the
three survivors suddenly slip and fall in the HUGE, i mean
MASSIVE shit left from the idiots new prized elephant*

Mand: *luckily the leader of the pack fell on top of one
of the other pathetic chumps and didnt land in the HUGE, i
mean MASSIVE shit left by the idiots new prized elephant*

Me: *The leader, being the only one left, jumps and runs
after the idiot and her new prized elephant and suddenly
the leader pulls out a hugemungous tranqualizer that
makes the idiots new prized elephant think he is a dog so
the stupid elephant stops in the middle of the road and
will not move causing a huge traffic jam just so the damn
thing can lick itself...the idiot jumps off the elephant
and throws some sorry loser out of there car, steals it,
and attempts to drive away from the leader of the pack and
teach herself to drive at the same time because her stupid
new not-so-prized elephant is in the middle of the road
licking itself*

Mand: *the idiot just proved that she really is an idiot
seeing as how cats lick themselves and dogs only lick
their balls. the leader of the pack of pathetic chumps
throws down her tranquilizer gun and runs on foot after
the car the idiot is driving, which is swerving all over
the road. she cant catch up and is out of breath so she
stops for some ice cream and spots the idiot putting gas
into the persons stolen car. she throws her ice cream at a
stupid little kid that cuts her off on his skateboard. she
pushes him off the skateboard and charges down the road
towards the idiot. the idiot sees her but cant make the
gas pump any faster ((haha doesnt it suck how you cant
make ANYTHING pump faster?! haha sorry...that was uncalled
for)) being the idiot that the idiot is, she jumps in the
car and speeds away with the gas pump still in the gas
tank*

Me: **The idiot is really not an idiot just slightly
misunderstood. Trying to be slightly less blunt she said
the elephant was licking itself meaning it was licking
it's balls but saying licking itself was rather less
bluntly. Either way the idiot is attempting to drive away
the the entire gas tank comes with her throwing cords and
gas all over the road making the leader of the pack of
chumps slip and slid all of the road continously knocking
over the annoying child on the skateboard that she had
previously knocked out of her way. Unfortuantly for the
idiot the makes me the idiot slid faster towards the now
speeding and swerving car when suddenly the leader smashes
into the end of the speeding car rather oddly as that is
not possible but for the sake of the poor dog like
elephant now in the middle of the road licking itself...it
is now possible*

Mand: *the leader of the pack of chumps lays still in the
road, surrounded by gas and cords and a stupid elephant
that thinks hes a dog. the idiot looks back and laughs
evily, but stops as soon as she sees that the chump leader
isnt moving. she turns around, swerves the car right into
an apartment complex, gets out to observe the damage,
stops mid-examination thinking to herself "wait why the
fuck do i care? its not my car or my house!!" the idiot
takes off on foot towards the chump leader and bends over
to see if she has a pulse. thinking she has killed the
chump leader, the idiot stands up and screams towards the
sky "I HAVE DONE IT!! I HAVE COME OUT VICTORIOUS!!!" the
idiot begins to dance, and suddenly her foot is grabbed by
the chump leader and she falls to the ground. the idiot
lays there extremely dazed and confused and asks not what
the hell she is doing on the ground...but instead..."HOW
THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR PULSE TO STOP LIKE
THAT?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!"*

Me: **The leader of the pack the explains how she has
magic powers and is able to trick her enemy into believing
she is dead so she...in the end... would be victorious.
However the leader of the pack of chumps gets so caught up
in explaining the the idiot manages to slip away and runs
to the savannah and rides a camal into the sunset away
from the crazed leader of the pack of chumps**

Mand: ((what is with you and these desert animals?!)) *the
leader of the pack of chumps stops talking long enough to
eat the ice cream that somehow appeared in her hand, but
stops halfway through it and stands up looking around. she
sees that the idiot has disappeared. she is furious. not
because the idiot so rudely left, but because she threw
this ice cream too and runs to find the idiot. this is the
second ice cream she has thrown in one day. she turns on
her tracking device and finds that the idiot it on some
sort of animal with humps ((thats an animal with humps,
not an animal that humps)) she can only figure it must be
a camel, so thinking the idiot is an idiot...duh...she
calls a cab and goes straight to the airport. she catches
a plane to the savannah and is waiting for the idiot when
she arives at the cabin that appeared out of nowhere. it
isnt a mirage though, it is in fact a real cabin. it must
be, because the chump leader is sitting in it...and the
chump leader isnt a mirage. the idiot comes riding up on
her disgusting camel and spots the chump leader sitting on
the porch and screams "NOOOOOOOO!!!!"*

Me: ((shut up, desert animals are cool)) *The idiot stands
on the camal and jumps as high in the sky that she can she
suddenly is grabbed by her escape plan.. the mighty little
birdy ((haha)) mighty little birdy carries the idiot all
the way to the jungle and on the way drops a shower of ice
cream cones on the head of the leader of the pack. she
spends the next few months living in the jungle hiding
from the leader and living with a strange man in a loin
cloth that calls himself dumbo**

Mand: ((AHAHA OMG I GET IT!!! TARZAN AND DUMBO!! HAHAH!!))
*the chump leader happily eats the ice cream and lives in
the cabin for only a few days before deciding to go after
the idiot. she then decides she has a better idea. she
moves to the caribbean and is whisked away by johnny depp
who is there filming the second pirates of the caribbean
and they live happyily ever after...THE END*

Me: I LOVE IT!! nice ending time tho, i am beat. i think i
am gonna go sleep

Mand: thats exactly why i ended it! hehe im so tired

Me: So I say goodnight to the once part of the crowd that
survived the attack dogs and managed to avoid the MASSIVE
shit and became the leader of the chumps who also slid all
the way down the road on gas and is magic and loves ice
cream and hates children on skateboards and lives happily
ever after with Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribbean 2

Mand: and i say goodnight to the idiot who ran into a tree
and took the backdoor off its hinges because she was
betrayed by the evil lawn gnomes and made a tree fall on
the pack of chumps and then gets an elephant named tarzan
and then steals a car and rips apart the gas pumps and
rides away on a camel and flys away wit a birdie and lives
in the jungle with a dude named dumbo


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Oh shit. that was funny. WHOO!




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