It finally happened
it was bound to happen sooner or later at the law firm;
what with matt all eating his meals all over the legal
files......yeah you know what's coming.
the curtain opens and there i sit with matt perspiring,
sweaty palms balancing a coffee onto the rim of his desk.
in retrospect i should have moved it back just an inch,
maybe even just thrown it into his face, but hey,
hindsight is 20/20. there we are staring at the original
documents in a tight bind, having to qc them within half
an hour before the top lawyers of the firm quickly scan
through them to take out the attorney privileged files.
"damn it don't we have any binder-clips?" his turn was
erratic, uncalculated, and flailing, the cusp of his shirt
caught the rim of the cup and tipped it forward. stupidly
he tried his best to catch the scalding liquid in his
hands, only to have it burn through and splatter the
original documents with 16 oz. of brown liquid.
"shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" his mouth dropped and
contorted grotesquely in a blaspheming eulogy to the job
he once had occupied at a nice respectable law firm in a
nice big city.
i kicked back the chair and got out of the way looking
down upon the culprit and his cup of caffeine, now
littered next to the box, rolling away like a drunk hit-
and-run driver fleeing the scene of his most heinous
crime. if i had had a shovel i could have buried him then
and there and saved him the multiple ulcers that were to
our supervisor came around the corner and her jelly rolls
shook in terror.
"oh my gawwwwwwwwd!!!! are those the originals???"
'no you dumb bitch these are the copies, we're standing
around like dumb-shits over something which we could
easily print-out again'. but instead
came out of my mouth.
matt was shaking like crazy and his eyes looked like a
cornered animal knowing that it could no longer escape its
"i'll pay for them." he croaked
now that must have been the oddest thing he could have
said, but i felt so sorry for him that i just wanted to
"yeah buddy, just give me 5 bucks it's cool."
i felt like i was really watching a doomed man, this is
what it must be like working on death row, i thought.
long story short, matt still works there. he is now a few
fingers lighter, but the lawyers were very understanding.
on another note, i'm getting sick of these political
opinions on the public transportation.
today i'm reading an article in which ll cool j is telling
me how to spice up my sex life, all smoooove like.
'so yo gotsta buy yo'self a showa curtin' then you be
spreadin' some massagin' oils all ova da....'
"you know i just have this fear that john kerry is
alienating his constitutents by talking down to them" -
came the monotonous whiny voice from behind me. i noticed
a short man with a taught figure hovering over this lady
who was nodding her head so vigorously i thought she was
going to snap it off.
"yes of course, uh huh." she kept on interjecting, her
obsequious responses completely corroded by his vehement
"i mean talking down to people, you know, talking down to
people is when you explain to them everything you say
thinking that they don't know what you mean, you know what
i mean? is just not the way to go if you want people to
respect what you have to say to them."
i think i can make my walk in about 4 hours, it'll save me
the commuting cunt-heads i have to listen to.