argh

p|ss3d_oFF_bUt_tRy|ng 2 k33p da P|ss in.
2004-10-09 14:18:24 (UTC)

Trying to improve my GP...

Hey.... I'm trying to use this diary as a plane of
expression... To express opinions of substance and in good
english... and hopefully, i'll bother to correct all the
spelling, grammar or punctutation errors... but that, i
think, is not that important cos writing here is a matter
of just punching in keys... not really cancelling and
correcting the words manually on the screen... and i hope
this can really open up my mind and capture all the ideas
in my sub- conscience that dissolves just because i was not
fast enough to jot them down during the stressful event of
examinations...

Education is the issue today...

Why has education become so important? Is it the money-
making jobs that are promised at the end of obtaining a
degree? Or is it just politician's obsession to prove that
their society of degree- holding youths are able to jump in
the bandwagon of life sciences along with the other rich,
developed countries? All competition? What has become of
life? and its value?

These were all on my mind ever since i stepped into JC...

The reason of my being here is because, when i was 16, i
decided to make alot of money through a "real" respectable
job, which my narrow, shallow mind thought was obtainable,
easiest, through a degree. I didn't care about the job
(just as long as it's morally fine) because i realised that
I am able to perform any job at will. I will eventually
fall deeply in love with any job to a point of obsession
and finally, get jaded. This has been proven true for me,
in terms of music, art, sports, academic subjects, etc. But
now i realised that the path i CHOSE was a path too safe,
too predictable, too certain... TOO BORING! The very reason
why i get jaded easily and why my therapist concluded that
i am a person who likes changes.

I once desired to travel the world at an age too young to
be a millionaire, to own a mansion as a house with 2 pools
(one for swimming and the other a table), to go on Haj
pilgrimage, to own a Jaguar and to construct a Masjid where
it is needed most. I realised, from the agony that my
mother went through all her life, that all this is just a
fantasy. Seriously, how many people whom you personally
know own all this at 35 or even 40 and not live in misery
or sitting on their parents' hard earned money? No problems
whatsoever?

And so i started to go aimless, for now i realised that
most of my dreams are just MATERIAL WEALTH. My drive to
obtain all this has put aside the real value of life. The
fact that we wake up or even bothered to breathe shows the
value of life. We fight every single day for the light of
tomorrow. However, our minds have become clouded and
distracted from the path that we were initially put to:
DEATH. We fight every single day only to age and then leave
this world without anything, but our faith, to progress to
the next. In other words, whatever we achieve materially
here (that is not shared) is of no bloody worth! The irony
of life: To live to die.

And so back to the issue of education. Students here spent
a big chunk of their lives miserably completing their
homework (and improving their GP). But do they really know
what they want? The sensation of obsessing about something
seems to disappear as we continuously drive astray from it
when we are just too busy doing something we were never
initially interested in. Example: The Wright brothers who
invented the airplane. They never did well in school and
ended school at KINDERGARTEN. But their obsession about
flight is the drive to their invention, that has
contributed immensely to the world. School was redundant
for them. And i believe that school is still redundant for
most of us.

The reason why Singapore has never excelled in the sporting
arena or thrive in the arts scene is because of the
unnecessary education all of us are put through. Now, i
think the government realised this. So school that
specialise in specific interests are mushrooming all over:
the new sports school, the arts school and the new courses
opening in NUS and NTU. The world wants specific talents,
not a jack- of- all- trade anymore. They prefer a world-
record- breaking swimmer rather than a smart, rich,
handsome, ex- ACJC MEDIOCRE swimmer who happens to qualify
for the Olympics. People value humanity more than anything
else. We Singaporeans will retard in terms of progress
because our politicians made a mistake in forsight, for now
we find Malaysia a threat, which could have been prevented
had we realise this sooner. Singaporeans should have been
encouraged to follow their dreams from the start rather
than be forced into a compulsory primary education.

Having time wasted doing things that we dread contradicts
the meaning of life. Just imagine if you wanted to become
a singer all your life, but have to be put through Law
School just because of your parents, and when you have the
freedom and opportunity to be a singer, you are too old to
be idolised and so the gusto and enthusiasm you once had
towards life just disappears. You no longer have an
obsession for life, but just drifting about, good as dead
walking on Earth. What has become of meaning of your life?

Another thing that perturbed me was the reason why i no
longer am able to gulp down the stresses of exams like i
used to when in secondary school. I realised that being
focussed to aceing an exam is far easier than thinking
about the future. So if i put my mind to just aceing the
A's without ambition, i think i'll probably do better than
if i put my mind to achieving my ambitions. Maybe that is
why most JC students do not know what they initially
desired to be. All they wanted to do was follow the crowd.
Being herd- minded gives us reason not to think carefully
for ourselves and let the forces of the world think for us.
Like i said in the previous entry, IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

I think i shall end here... For it's too long even for me
to read.




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