Daniel R. Steffen

Personal Thoughts
2004-10-08 19:41:15 (UTC)

What am i thinking

Dan has changed alot, he has become an advisary and
dispite my best efforts he continues to stedy himself into
that status.
I do have anger towards dan but im not a violent
person.
My anger only comes out in my writing. Sometimes it seems
like im a psycopath from what i write and draw to myself
in private.
It's more like a sophisticated way of punching a pillow.

Megan thinks im horrable because I know how to hurt
people. Im graphic in my verbal depictions of it so much
so that she was appauled that I was capable of such
thoughts. Its no
more methodical then someone who decides to trip someone
in
the cafatera by extending their leg at the last moment.

My vocabulary makes me sound like some hanable wanna-be
but thats not what i want. I dont want to harm another
human being unless they are attacking me.

Why can't you understand that my thoughts are my own.
They are also just thoughts. I sometimes feel morbid, its
my guilty plesure, because that has always been my comfort
in the world. I could always go back to my goth group and
talk about how we should strangle babies to prevent over
population or something equally as evil and sad.

It may not be clear to you how my mind works, or even
used to work. But please, you must accept that sometimes I
get upset and depressed.

I wish i could be imune to emoitions, but thats
impossable for anyone. There are things in my
life that i hold sacred and when those things are
disrupted
then i become sad, depressed, or angry.


Crying. . .




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