poeticgem

My sometimes coherent thoughts
2004-10-07 01:09:18 (UTC)

Excited ...

Wow ... I went on a date last night with a very nice guy -
Camille. It was very refreshing ... he's respectful,
affectionate, funny, thoughtful, articulate, smart ... he
is Lebanese/French ... he has many qualities that are the
same as the ones that attracted me to Harry ... he's tall
and dresses nice ... he was born and raised here in the
United States but was brought up with strict values and
morals ... he drives a newer VW Sedan, lives in Manhattan
Beach with his cat, Booger, and a roommate (whom he's not
really spoken of except to say that he lived with a
roommate). He was born and grew up in San Francisco and
just moved here about 8 months ago. He's not the most
handsome man, there is something weird going on with his
eyebrows and he has bags under his eyes, but looks are not
everything and I have to remember that - I'm certainly no
Ms. Universe and putting things in proper perspective, 2
negative physical traits certainly should not be a deal
breaker given all the positive personality and other traits.

We both like CSI and Law & Order;SVU as well as Nip/Tuck
(DAMN! last night's season finale left me crying for nearly
30 minutes afterwards - I got to watch the uninterrupted
repeat at midnight after I got home from my date with
Camille) ... anyway, we also like the same kinds of movies -
scary, action - we both agree on how Starbucks coffee
should be StarSUCKS (but he drinks it anyway because he's
addicted to caffeine and it's the one franchise that can be
found on nearly every corner!), however, we had Coffee Bean
last night, which he has had before, and he agreed that it
is far better, just too bad not as easily found.

Of course we met online ... he first contacted me a couple
weeks ago through this one extreme site where I had my
profile posted merely out of curiousity than for any other
reason and at that time I told him about this slightly
tamer site (AFF) because we both had the curiousity factor
in common and didn't really feel very comfortable with that
extreme site. I talked to him at that time online once and
then offline once or twice. We didn't talk too much after
that ... until a week or so later when I was on the other
site and he popped up on the instant messenger inviting me
to chat. He had no idea who I was and visa versa ... we
chatted for a little while online and then he gave me his
phone number. When I called, I recognized his voice
immediately. What a small world, huh ... it was about a
week from that conversation that we actually set a date to
meet which was last night.

He drove all the way from Manhattan Beach to Studio City to
meet me at Zach's Italian Restaurant. He have me a big hug
when we met and was immediately full of compliments about
how beautiful I was, etc.,etc. And even tho' we had just
met, he was already commenting on qualites in me that Harry
had always said attracted him to me ... even last night
after the date, when I called him on the phone, he brought
up all these qualities in me that he found so appealing,
things that I'd only heard from Harry before ... it felt
good to hear them from someone else ;-)

We've already made plans for our second date. What we've
planned may seem strange to some, but considering the sites
we met through, I really don't feel that it's all that
unusual. He's very attracted to me ... and I feel rather
attracted to him, or that I could learn to be attracted to
him in 'that way'. But he was such a gentleman last night
for which I told him I was appreciative. Nonetheless, he
did make his feelings obvious with words. So ... we have
decided to go to a hotel for our second date! But not just
any hotel, OH NO! He told me to find the place, any place,
the cost was not important, just as long as there was a
jacuzzi in the room. He said he would give me his credit
card number to pay for it ... to say I didn't find that
slightly impressive would be a lie! He said he wanted to
make our first time to be the most memorable experience of
my lifetime! He said he wanted to put rose petals in the
bath tub and all over the bed and make sweet love to me ...
he said he wanted to massage me and treat me like a
princess ...

Chantelle will spend the night at Madison's on Friday
because she's going to this Battle of the Bands on
Saturday - which takes care of my biggest concern! I'm not
telling her where exactly I will be because I don't think
she needs to know what's going on in her mom's personal
life, but she knows I'm going on a date and Camille said I
can give her his cell number so she will be able to get
ahold of me anytime ...

With that major item attended to, I searched the internet
today and with the help of my co-worker, Diana, found a
beautiful, quaint, romantic hotel in Newport Beach. Ocean
view, big bay windows, french doors and a jacuzzi in the
room - with a huge price tag to go with it! $289! When I
found it, I called Camille to tell him and when I told him
the price he hardly flinched ... just gave me - A TOTAL
STRANGER! - his credit card number and told me to book it!
He thinks I'm worth all this! And he trusts me, someone he
barely knows! It really makes me feel good ... real good!

Now, I'm starting to get a bit nervous ... about a myriad
of things ... I mean, I certainly can't back out now
because he will lose his money since the 72 hour
cancellation policy can't be utilized due to the last
minute reservation timing. But my damn period has been
threatening to start for over a week now with nothing more
than spotting everyday! I don't which to be more worried
about, starting or not starting! Also ... what am I going
to wear?!!!! I don't want to wear what I've worn for
Harry, that just doesn't seem right! But I don't have time
or money to go out and buy something new ... also ... I'm
beginning to think maybe I'm a bit crazy for doing this,
but then another part of me says we are two consenting
adults and as long as we are being safe then I don't have
any reason to feel bad or guilty or whatever ever other
weird emotion or thought creeps into my paranoid mind. And
another thing, certainly if nothing comes out of this, at
least it'll be a million times better than a one night
stand in the back seat of some guy's 10 year old Honda!

So ... anyway ... that's where I'm at now ... I'm trying
not to think of Harry ... but part of me can't help it ...
I mean in the past almost 12 years, I've only been in a
hotel/motel room with Harry - BUT NEVER ANYTHING AS NICE AS
THIS! One came almost close ... but still ... I know the
money should never be a determining factor for anything,
but it would be an out and out lie to say that it wasn't a
contributing one! (factor that is!)

Ok, gonna sign off now ... I almost wish it were Friday
already! I've already got permission to leave early - I'm
driving from work to his place and from there we will head
to Newport Beach for a night of .... of ... well, let's
leave something to the imagination, shall we? :-)

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT
CHANGE THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN AND THE
WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!! THANK YOU AND AMEN




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