monique

Woolgathering
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2004-10-05 14:56:07 (UTC)

Cousins

I went to Junction City this morning and picked up the
quilts I'd brought to the quilt show. While I was there I
picked up those John's mother had brought. I guessed that
the quilts were still there meant that they hadn't made it
to church on Sunday and wasn't surprised when the church
secretary offered that information. I told her I'd drop
off the quilts at my in-laws as I was on my way there to
drop off an assortment of home cooked items. I tried to
bring small portions of a variety of things. The list
included beef stew, macaroni and cheese, minestrone soup,
biscuits, baked apples, peach pie, chocolate cupcakes,
chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon rolls. I told my father
in law he couldn't just eat the treats; I know he loves
chocolate.

We talked about assorted subjects during out brief visit.
John's mother surprised me by saying that she'd just been
reading the marriage license applications in the newspaper
and had noticed that many were for people in their 30's or
even 40's. I commented that these were probably for second
or third marriages but was sorry I'd said that as soon as it
came out as I watched her face fall. I realized she'd
probably been thinking about my niece and nephew who are
both in their 30's. Neither has ever married nor have they
shown much interest in doing so.

My sons tell me their girl cousin, who is almost 36, is
nice enough and while not beautiful, she's not that bad
looking either. The problem, they say, is that she's too
"nerdy". In other words she likes many of the same things
they do--computers and Lord of the Rings, for example--and
has no interest in anything remotely feminine. This is fine
with them but their insight is that it doesn't do much to
attract a man interested in a romantic relationship.

Because of the difference in their ages, the cousins haven't
really interacted all that much, but for the past few years
my youngest son and my nephew have communicated quite a bit
by e-mail and chat. This doesn't really surprise me; even
though they are far apart in age (my son is 18 and my nephew
will be 31 next month) they are both college students (my
nephew has just returned to school to become a radiology
technician) and are both playing the field as far as girls
are concerned. My son tells me his cousin dates girls in
their very early 20's and doesn't mind boasting about his
conquests. It doesn't surprise me that my nephew has no
interest in settling down as he seems quite content spending
all his money on clothes and travel (as my son tells me, the
better to attract more girls) and is very concerned with
keeping in shape and looking good. The impression I have is
of someone who's a bit narcissistic and shallow who's never
really grown up and who doesn't really have anything of
interest to offer to someone who's looking for a potential
partner who's mature, stable, and responsible and interested
in settling down. It'll be interesting to see what he's
doing with his life ten years from now. I told my son his
cousin may get a surprise and one of those young girls will
set out not only to capture him but to change him as well
but he disagreed, saying that his cousin is well aware of
that trap and ends the relationship before it gets that far.
Sometimes one can be too clever for one's own good.

I think their grandmother may know all of this but still has
hope that someday things will change and at least one of
them will marry but at this point I would be very surprised
if either one of them did.

The one I really feel sorry for is my sister-in-law as it's
become obvious she desperately wants to be a grandmother.
John thought it pretty sad and, yes a little pathetic, when
she went around a couple of years ago excitedly declaring
"I'm gonna be a Grandma! I'm gonna be a Grandma!" when her
second husband's son's girlfriend announced she was pregnant
and then being disappointed when she miscarried.


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