~damastez~

Damastez
2004-10-02 15:51:04 (UTC)

Contemplations

I realize as each day progresses that I love her more and
more. What else could I ask for? It's more than I've ever
known.

I've also recently calmed myself in thought, realizing how
frail life is. I'm nearly 30. My life is peaking, and I
still haven't decided what I want to do with myself. I
have everything in order with the exception of my career.
There are so many possiblities, I just don't know what to
choose. I could be comissioned in the military, join the
F.B.I., apply to medical school, write books, or more
simply, just build houses. All of these things appeal to
me on different levels at different degrees, but everytime
I try to envision myself in any of these occupations, none
seem to fit.

I haven't been real expressive as of late in any material
means. I haven't drawn or written much, as I have found
art in myself. I have been lifting weights, sculpting and
changing my features. I feel like I always do when I
embark on a project: I cannot quit until perfection. It
seems as if every last muscle is coming into full view,
every single ounce of fat depleted, and every vein has been
tightly pressed under stretched skin. But I'm not sure at
what point enough will be the end.




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