Codesmith

Life, Or Something Like It
2004-10-01 10:48:17 (UTC)

Missing Someone Terribly

It's 1001, Friday. 604am. It's an unusual kind of darkness
outside. Maybe it's just cause I'm really tired and I'd
rather be sleeping, but when I look out the window, it
just looks ... "dark". It's probably just a trick of
light.

I woke up about an hour ago. Last night was really ... I
don't know. Confusing maybe. Mostly cause I was talking
with Elle. Not that talking with Elle is confusing, but
like ... I don't know. She's unlike any sort of girl I've
ever met.

I guess I should start at the end of my last entry. We
went to get the groceries, Lisa, the therapist, and I. It
was pretty normal stuff. There was this really cute girl,
and I think she went to my college. Or at least I think
she did. I kinda kept ... looking at her, which made the
therapist a bit mad with me. When Lisa wasn't looking, the
therapist would give me a playful shove everytime I was
staring at the cute girl's ass. I don't think she wore any
undies ...

We got back home, and of course I start working on my
project again ... waiting for Elle to come online. She had
told me earlier that she wasn't going to be on till later
because she had practice. So I didn't really expect to see
her online for awhile. I took a nap around 5pm, and then
later woke up around 7pm. Worked on my project some more,
and had some things to eat along the way. I think I had
something called, "Uncle Ben's Spanish Rice" for a
midafternoon meal. 250 grams of rice, that kinda looks
like something called, "red rice". It never occurred to me
that Spanish rice might be the same thing as "red rice"
that is ... back home on the island, there was a dish
called "red rice" which used some food colouring called
achote seeds. It's some kind of nut thing that you mash
together to get a red dye. It's what gives the rice it's
color. I think you also add a ton of unhealthy things to
the pot just to make sure that your arteries are clogged
by the time you reach the age of 40.

Well anywhere, there was that and I also had some seperate
meals of grilled chicken.

So 9 pm came around, and Elle logged on finally. I don't
remember what was initially said because I decided not to
keep a log of the conversation. I'm really trying to phase
that out because ... I think it's encouraging my addiction
to Elle, which I think given my current situation is
probably not the best thing for me right now.

We talked a bit ... for about an hour or so. I asked her
if it made her uncomfortable when I complimented her. She
said it did, and I asked her what made her uncomfortable.
She said it was just that she isn't use to compliments. I
don't really know of many women who don't like
compliments. It was pretty weird to hear that from her ...
I mean, ... that's just really not something I've ever
come up against, ever. But I think I'm going to keep on
complimenting her. It's just hard to not tell her what I
really think about her ... that I really enjoy being
around her. I love the way she thinks, the way she talks,
and the crazy stuff we come up with. Well, online I mean.

Things haven't changed the way I thought they would. I
mean, after I told her how I felt about her, she hasn't
stopped talking to me or anything. So it's a good thing.

I still think that maybe, just maybe ... she might have
feelings for me. If not, then ... try to get her there. I
guess that sounds a bit silly ...

Well, I can't think of anything else to say so I'll end
this here. I only have two classes today, and that's it.
Elle has no classes today, or so she told me a few days
back. I'm hoping to see her online ... I mean, I have like
no classes from 10am - 12pm, ... so if she comes on
between those times I think that might be a good sign that
she has maybe, a very very small crush on me. Well, ... I
guess it's probably not good to imagine things like that.

I hope she does come online ...

At anyrate, I'll write again later.




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