Codesmith

Life, Or Something Like It
2004-09-30 16:30:50 (UTC)

Short Break From Homework

It's 0929, Thusday. 1145am. I'm in the computer lab, so my
view of the world is kinda restricted. I can see some of the
windows, ... if you could call it that. Looks pretty dark
out still ... I read the forecast for today, and the city
was suppose to get light rain. I think, it's around 54
degrees Fahrenheit.

I'm taking a break from programming. I skipped my lab, and
the two classes I have today. It's bad of me, but I really
need the extra time to work on my project that I've
neglected for two weeks. The price to pay.

Fortunately, I'm doing pretty ... uh, well sorta well in my
two math classes. My compiler class was today, and I
probably shouldn't have skipped it. But ... when it comes
down to which professor would give the most leeway, it would
have to be the compiler professor and not the insensitive one.

Although, the more classes I take with her the more I
realize she might not intentionally be insensitive. She's
just not very ... well, ya she's insensitive. But I don't
think she means it. If that makes any sense.

I've made progress on the program. Right this very moment,
I'm able to perform two of the methods I need. I wrote a
loop to reacquire the input. I didn't write the other
methods because for that I need to be registered to a
newsgroup. I could do that, but I'm thinking I need to turn
this these sets of methods into a class. The programmer in
me, says that's the correct thing to do. But I don't see a
real point for that other than housekeeping.

I mean, ... Object Orientated Programming is more than just
housekeeping, its a philosophy. A very important one. It's
the whole idea of polymorphism and code reusability.
Although, to be honest I don't see anyone actually reusing
my code.

I was telling Josh the other day, that I wish I had my two
weeks back for my project. If I'm lucky, I might be able to
finish this by tomorrow. The only reason I'm able to get it
done so fast with relatively little work is cause the whole
program is going to be a hack job. Not to mention, ... by
now I should be an adept programmer. Josh is a pretty adept
programmer. Actually, he's got some sort of U.S Army Grant
going on ... It's a simulation on certain aspects of game
theory. I tried to ask him if I could be a part of the group
too, but he sort of vaguely said that they were looking for
people who had the course called, Software Engineering. I
haven't taken that yet. I'm going to ask him again though. I
really would like to have a hand in stuff like that. He said
people in the project get paid too, but I wouldn't mind
waiving it though to get in. I'm kinda desperate for real
world experience. This city is alright, but not the best for
like ... getting experience in software engineering.
Although, if you wanna get intoxicated ... I guess it's
alright for that. On the other hand ... I'm a bit reluctant
in doing that kind of work. Not because of the applications,
but just cause it might take like time away from Elle. I
know that's really pathetic and not to mention pretty dumb.
I mean, real world experience that can lead to a serious job
and serious cash over someone I kinda know online? What am I
thinking here? I guess I'm not really thinking. Love has
always been important to me though. But that's kinda it.
Elle told me she doesn't feel that way for me, yet ... she
comes online to meet me every moment she can. She get's
ticked when she has to log off while we're talking ...

I guess it could all be a ruse. You know like, maybe she
just says that to appease me. I've known her for about 3-4
years though, ... I don't think she'd just say something
like that to appease me.

Elle's looking for a part time job. She's trying to cover
some expenses, and I think if she were to get another job,
she'd be like ... almost never online. When I think about
it, ... she would take the job over me. I don't feel hurt or
anything, it's just a fact of life. It's her decision too.
What kind of bothers me, ... is that I know she would do
that ... so why can't I?

I guess I have to clarify a few things. First, she would
take another part time job. She might not want to, cause it
would cut into our time talking or what not ... or that is
what I like to tell myself ... but considering the
circumstances, she would probably take the part time job
over me. Now, that doesn't bother me in the least.

What bothers me is that I'm kinda in the same boat as her,
but I'm not thinking rationally like Elle is. I'm presented
with an opportunity to learn more and to get some experience
in practical applications of computing. I'm presented with
the opportunity, yet ... I'm a bit reticent to take it. Why?
Because, it would cut into time with Elle.

It's just funny how you can see something so utterly
mis-prioritized, and understand that's it totally wrong to
be thinking like that ... yet, you can't help it. I mean,
this could be really useful in like landing a nice job after
college. I know it would be. What's more is that I'm buddies
with Josh so ...

Wait a second. If I'm buddies with Josh, how come Josh never
asked me to do the grant with him? I guess Josh is really
looking for people who've done the software engineering class.

At anyrate ... I'm going to ask him again to see if they
found anyone. Even if they did find someone, I'm going to
offer to help anyway. I mean, technically I do have the
skills to be of use. Considering how I would offer to work
for free, I don't think Josh would turn me down. We're,
"buddies" afterall. Not to mention, his friend use to have a
huge crush on me. Actually, it might not be a good idea to
mention that part. But ... I guess most of the reason why
I'm going to try to get into the grant is because, I really
need to reprioritize my life. I mean, ... I really do ...
feel deeply for Elle. But even this, ... this is something I
can't let perpetuate. I'm just kinda unsure why I feel this
way. It's just so ... bizarre.

But anyway back to the project, ...

I take heart knowing that apparently the smartest guy in the
class, not me unfortunately, isn't going to meet the
deadline for the program tomorrow. He said something like,
he was having trouble with some sort of weird carriage
return character. I don't know what the fuck he was talking
about. He said something like stripping it off responses
from the newsgroup server. Although, I am having some
trouble with the quit response. I mean, I'm sending a quit
command to the newsgroup server and it's quitting ... but
with NullPointerException. I think maybe that's what he was
talking about. I don't think it's a weird carriage return
though, I think it's just ... sloppy code. Kinda like my code.

I figured out it's because I keep reading a response even
when there's like ... no response at all. That's what's
triggering the Exception, I think, ... but other than that
everything's just peachy. I could be wrong about the
carriage return though.

So much to say ... so little time. I wanted to talk about
the people in my class and ... more about Elle. But I have
to leave in a bit.

We're going grocery shopping today. I have a list made, ...
sorta. I'm getting the groceries this time ... that's going
to be fun. Not really.

Well, I'll send this off. I'm definitely going to write more
later, ... I just always need to write more.




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