Sarah

dying fears and broken tears
2004-09-24 21:36:51 (UTC)

Stress

Ugh, why is it that every time some one comes up to me
they're always asking if I'm feeling ok? And then when I
answer that I'm fine they always say "no you're not". That
gets really annoying really quickly. And of course my
emotions this week have been flying all over the place. But
mostly I've been feeling sadness and a lot longing. I'm
not really sure what I'm longing for so badly though. I
want to find my peace, my happiness, but it seems as though
that will never happen. There's too much other crap going
on. I feel kind of like the Sin Eater from "The Order",
the priest movie with Heath Ledger in it. I take everyone
else's sadness and emotions into myself. There's hardly a
me in my body anymore. My own problems are to great to
handle since I'm handling everyone else's for them. I
carry so much weight, and I'm breaking under the load. I'm
only six weeks into the school year and I'm already
struggling to stay conscious during school. I hardly sleep
anymore. I sleep, but it's not a restful one. Instead it
seems to take all my energy from me. I feel so drained.
This is almost getting to be too much. I sinking under the
surface, the pressure on me is too much. I can barely
breath.


Can't anyone save me?




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