X is my secret.
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2004-09-16 22:28:58 (UTC)

Depres. . aw fuck it

so yeah,

here i am, heart broken again, and mind and emotions
fucked with. i love it you know. it's like baseball to me.
it's national past time, fuck with mistin as much as you
can and see which one of you guys can make me cry the
longest, the hardest, see who can push her over the edge.
$5 to the one who can make her end it all.

there are so many things i'd like to say to john. i mean
who does he think he is? what a fucking pric, let's just
have this fling with the ugly kitchen girl just so i can
keep warm on the last few cold lonely nights of camp. sure
why not. and then when she emails me to tell me how she
feels, who the fuck cares. who cares about her emtions and
how she's been hurt. even though i'm the one who stood in
the doorway of the kitchen and said i was really pissed
that her last two guys treated her like that. you know,
whatever got her into bed with me, right? hahaha What the
fuck is that JOHN why the hell would you pull something so
low and devious to someone like me.

i have every intention of not going back to camp next
summer. i loved it, but i can't face him. it's gonna be
hard enough going to his alma matter to study, that's
right, just because some ass fuck decides to be such a
jerk doesn't mean i'm going to give up my dream of going
to ireland, fuck him. i'm goin, i'm going to love it, and
if i run into him, i don't think he'll have a very easy
time baring children afterward.

i've fantasized about just fucking giving him a right hook
to the gut if i see him at camp. it's fun. but i'd rather
just not encounter him, which is sad. he was a nice guy.
but at the moment i'd rather think of what an ASSHOLE he

i have a psych test to study for.