FloydianSlip

Going Postal
2004-09-16 03:39:43 (UTC)

Some things are worth fighting for

I do not get my book "Current Controversies In
Criminology." I'm not the only one. Even my professor
said that he was confused and said that he really didn't
know what it was trying to say. He said he was going to
have a hard time trying to make questions for the test out
of that book because it really never gets to a point...just
rambles.

When I read this book or do other homework sometimes I just
feel burnt out. I went through 12 years of school already
and I'm in my third year of college. I wish I was in the
position to be my own person and be doing what I want to do
instead of finishing my degree. Sometimes I wish I could
just skip ahead about 10 years, but I know I'd be missing
out on a lot of fun and good times.

It's kind of funny though because over the summer when I
was at home I couldn't wait to get back here. I wanted to
be away from my family life but I didn't want to be away
from Jeremy. Now that I'm back here at school I want to be
at home close to Jeremy and dad. I probably just haven't
adjusted totally yet.

I surround myself with tons of pictures of me and my
boyfriend together to remind me what I'm doing here. I'm
not only here to build a life for myself, but I'm here to
build a future for us. That's what keeps me
motivated...Jeremy.

The days seem long and are only going to get longer as old
man winter stops by for a visit. I'm trying to take things
one day at a time. If I think about the future too much it
makes the present seem almost unbearable compared to what
we could have. ...A house, silk sheets, a bed of our own,
a life together, kids eventually, hopes, dreams, vacations,
waking up to each other and going asleep next to each
other... It gives me something to look forward to..fuel
for my fire.

I miss Jeremy so much at times. Sometimes it's hard to get
him out of my mind for even 5 minutes. He's right...he's
always there with me. :) I'm so proud of him in so many
ways. One of the things I'm proud of him for is being his
own person and not being some fabricated spinoff of what
everyone else wants him to be...and for having a mind of
his own. I think it's something that he should be proud of
himself for as well.

Another thing I'm proud of him for is being such a
wonderful person. ...If only he could see. I love how
genuine he is and how full of life he is. He has a big
heart and a beautiful mind and an amazing soul. I've never
met anyone like him in this world. *sighs* If only he
could see...

When I look back over the past year and 10 months I
sometimes get tears in my eyes because it's been the
happiest times of my life. I've had the happiest
relationship I've ever been in, and I'm still happy in this
relationship. I don't plan on that changing. We make good
partners in every sense of the word and we make a good
team. We are beautiful together.

I believe from the bottom of my heart that we're going to
make it and we're going to be as strong as ever before. We
have a good foundation, and he's definitely a keeper and I
plan on keeping him. That spark in his eyes, the flame in
his heart, and the sincerity of his smile says it all. I'm
completely committed to loving him with all of my heart and
keeping him happy.

Some things are worth fighting for and this is one of those
things.




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