Goodnight, Starlight.

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2004-09-12 20:01:56 (UTC)

September 12th

Hey. Sorry ive not gotten around to writing in here. Well,
ive had time, i just keep forgetting type thing.
Yesterday was really, very cool. Ill just have to start
from the beginning of it all. Back in the very beginnong of
August, Greg's friend Jake added me to msn, at first, we
didnt exactly like eachother, but then we started to talk
about the guitar all the time, then id say we became closer.
We talk all the time now. He's a realllly cool guy. I think
i really am starting to like him, more than a friend.
But...then theres Greg. I like him, a lot. Of course more
than a friend also technically because well, he was my
first love really, i cant exactly let him go. And, both
Jake and Tyler are telling me that he still likes me. I
didnt believe it at the beginning, but now, I'm starting to
think its true. The thing that really bugs me, is that its
almost like Greg fears to show emotion. Kind of like, he
doesnt exactly care about other people feelings, nor care
what they say. He just always acts like he doesnt care.
Anyway, I really like Jake. But Greg is kind of standing in
the way of that. The thing is, i like Greg, yeah, but i
dont like him in a way that i want to go back out with him.
But i do like him more than a friend. Its real weird. Then
i like jake, more than a friend, yet i really do want to go
out with him. Jake and I think that Gregs assuming Jake
likes me more than a friend to. But, thats not true, i dont
think. So yeah, Gregs standing in the way of me almost
trying to get with Jake, well, not get with him, but just
to get a bit closer. The other day, jake told me he could
catch a ride to Halifax yesterday with his 5 in the
morning. So greg came with Jake, and they met Amanda and I
at the freak lunchbox, we then walked up to Quinpool, then
back to the commons, then just chilled for a bit. I then
was stupid enough to say "when i went out with him (greg) i
was in my loser phase". What i meant was that, then, i
thought it was cool to write "I love so and so" all over
papers and binders. Now, i dont. Theres no point, what you
feel, is what you feel, you feel it inside. You dont need
to express youreself on paper, because you simply already
know you love that person. No need to advertise it
everywhere. he thought i meant i was ashamed to go out with
him. But grr, Thats not what i meant. I just wish i hadnt
of said anything. Now Gregs mad at me for saying it i
think. I really wish he wasnt. he obviously doesnt know how
much he means to me. But i dunno, I'll see what happens.
But Jakes a pretty cool guy. Sexy hair. Bit of a beard
starting up. Bout my height. Real nice :-) Very smart id
say. But yesterday was cool. getting to see Greg
again was the thing i was most excited about. Just standing
beside him was like "wow. im actually beside greg, so
weird" that kind of thing. I liked the feeling to be able
to see him again, and i hope it will happen soon again. Not
in another 2 years.
So, school. Yeah. Schools the same. Day in, day out. No
different. I have amanda and stacey both in my class. Which
is great. Was worried. Anddd we got Mr . Bradbury again
for homeroom. Same as last year. Pretty wicked. The grade 9
trip will be to Montreal and Ottawa for 6 days. Shall be
Im gonna end now. Suppers ready. Probably write laster
once i gather up a bit more news. Later