kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
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2004-09-09 02:16:43 (UTC)

I'm trying to update more often...

Alright, enough of the old posts. That's all I have anyway.

I hope all of you who read this are doing very well. Life is pretty good right
now. The only bad thing is that Dave isn't feeling well. I had invited him over
to Jay's house to watch Jersey Girl, but he had to cancel because wasn't
feeling well.

So I guess I'm going to have to see him another time. *sigh* I was hoping to
see him once a week. I saw him once last week and once the week before. I
guess this week isn't over, but he happens to be in Colorado Springs.

Anyway, life is alright. Dial-up fucking sucks. I lost my connection about 6
times tonight. They were right in a row. No time in between.

So I guess I might start going down to the library to use the wireless there.
The only problem is that I'm too lazy to go down there after having worked

So I'm almost done with the internship. Friday is my last day. I'm super
excited right now. I can't wait to have a little time to myself. Next week I
think I'll venture to the library during the afternoon when traffic isn't too bad.

I have come to a realization that it really might be me and something I did or
said that has Dave all quiet. He hasn't been talkative all week. He was even a
bit quiet on Saturday when we were at his apartment. Cal and I were
discussing dungeons and he didn't have much to say. I guess because that's
not his thing.

So I must be going nuts for nothing. I cried on Saturday night during my
drive home. I was pissed at myself because I got super jealous of Cal and
Mandy for no reason other than the simple fact that they get to hang out with
Dave. He and call were talking about a time they hung out at her house. I
felt a super surge of jealousy run through me.

Mandy is getting married next month. Dave and Cal are going to carpool. I
wanted to scream out in pain or something. So I did the next best thing and
bad mouthed Mandy for no fucking reason. True, she made me super jealous
once and I haven't gotten over it, but I have no right to bad mouth her.

So I'm acting like some stupid jealous 13 year old and I am frustrated at
myself because of it. There is no reason I should be acting immature because
of Dave! I just want to get over it all. Maybe it will happen someday. One
day I hope to be free from all of this hate and jealousy. Wish me luck and
pray to your higher (or lower) powers for me.

That's all for now. I'll try to update more often.