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2004-09-09 01:50:14 (UTC)

August 30, 2004 1:18 PM

Ok, so John and I got to see the inside of Dave's new house this
weekend.  It is nicer than we expected.  Not that we figured it would be
a dump but it looks great and the outside is only kinda cool.

The room downstairs for the pool table is going to be fucking awesome
when he gets it all set up.  When we were there the only stuff around
was dinner in the kitchen.

Oh, speaking of the kitchen.  A couple years ago I had a dream that Dave
and I were having sex on his dinning room table. It wasn't a table he
owned.  But the kitchen from my dream was just like the one in his new
house.  I am a little creeped about that.  So if he gets a table like
the one in the dream I am so going to freak.

So anyway, Dave had a friend and his most recent ex over.  So part way
through our visit I suddenly got the urge to stab her.  I wouldn't have
honestly done it and there wasn't anything in the house to do it with,
but the urge was there.

I figured out that the only reason I know of that I don't like her is
because I was jealous of her.  Dave and I went from talking every day
multiple times to me trying to talk to him and getting no response.
That was a month after they started dating that he shut down.  So I
guess I blamed her at the time and I haven't ever gotten over it.  So
that makes me a stupid crazy person or something.

The only reason I shouldn't like her is that she depressed him so much.
And then it shouldn't make me totally hate her.  I would say that
thinking about stabbing her is way beyond hating her.  It's totally

The good thing is I would never hurt anyone.  I just happen to think
about doing that to her.  Besides, I don't want to go to jail for the
rest of my life.  That would be a very bad thing.

Also she frustrated after that.  Dave got up to do something in the
kitchen and she went in and gave him a hug and kinda did some sort of
flirty how are you doing.  I know he's not totally over her yet and if
she keeps doing shit like that he'll have a harder time getting over

So I now know her Jetta is older than mine and green.  I find it very
amusing that two of the girls he has dated have green jettas.  The one
color I hate on cars!  So I guess I won't ever date him since my car is
black.  Oh well, I love John way too much to leave him.

Oh, super news.  Cal might come to visit so she can see Dave's new house
and my new car!!!  It would be super awsome if we could do a sleep over
at Dave's or something.  John would totally let me hang out there since
Cal would be around.  Also John might even come along if he didn't think
it was too silly.

So Dave loved the wine I got him.  I got two hugs because of it.  Then I
got a third hug when John and I were leaving.  I was in heaven.  This
time I didn't nearly cream my panties after hugging him.  John was a
little jealous and joked that I got more hugs than he did (since he
didn't get any).  He was ok with the hugging since he could see nothing

So had a really amazing weekend because of all that.  Seeing Dave was
really great.  Now that he lives closer to me I'll have to go visit him
a lot.  Maybe I can hang out with him on nights John has school this
fall.  That might be too much but we can find out.  John might not think
that was the greatest idea.  I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I did it once
or twice though.  That would be no big deal.  It would be repeat visits
he would wonder about.

He seems to think that Dave could still have a major thing for me and
that he would try to put the moves on me if we were alone.  I know that
wouldn't happen unless it was a mutual thing and there's no chance of
that.  I'm too in love to jump ship now.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to update this very often.  I've been busy
with my internship and that doesn't leave me much time during the day to
do things.  Then I usually spend the evening with John doing stuff and I
can't update then. John doesn't know where this diary is or that I'm
still writing in it.  He couldn't handle most of the early entries since
they were very centered around Dave.

I will let you know if he gets a table like the one from my dream.  What
scares me is that I think his parents have the exact kind so me might
get one like theirs.  I know dreams aren't really windows into the
future, but it would still be crazy.

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