Mezzo Swede

A Toast to World Domination
2004-09-02 17:34:38 (UTC)

Blood, Sweat, and Bad Reviews

I auditioned for "The Last Five Years" a couple of nights
ago. I had spent a lot of blood, sweat, and tears preparing
for it, but of course, when I got in there all those things
I was supposed to think about flew out the window. Well,
that's probably an exaggeration. It was not a bad audition.
I just needed to have a little more courage, to avoid
resorting back to my "classical voice comfort zone". So,
really, I have no idea what I sounded like, because the
room was dry as the desert. The director and pianist were
all really nice, and I had a good time. I don't expect the
part, since there are only TWO parts in the entire show,
and only ONE is a female...but it would be so great if I
got in.

You know, there are things that just need to be accepted
when one is attempting to be a performer. You have to
accept that you are not the director. And, the person who
IS the director doesn't OWE you anything. It doesn't matter
if you are great, or if you suck, if they think one way or
the other...that's how it's going to be. I talked to a girl
from school yesterday who has obviously been upset for a
long time about not getting "stage time". And I totally
understand her frustration, since we are at such a small
school, and the same people keep getting the glory. Melyssa
and I talk about this all the time. But I am really trying
to find a better way to think about it, because feeling
shafted really has never helped me. I think Melyssa did the
right thing and went and did an outside show.

So, my new philosophy on the shows at school is as follows:
We are not paying tuition to get leading roles in the
shows. We are paying our tuition to get equal training, and
a music education. Now, I am not saying that we are getting
that at our school, because I don't think we are. We are
not all going to be the best. And the fact is, that in the
outside world there exist several different scenarios. One
is where the best person always gets the glory, and
everyone else is frustrated because it makes them aware of
their shortcomings. Another scenario is where a person who
has obvious shortcomings gets the glory, and everyone else
can't understand why.

It's hard to accept not being good enough. In this society
we are all about self-esteem, and making people feel good
about themselves, so not very many people are going to tell
us "Guess what...you are not good enough for this and
that". Obviously I am talking strictly in terms of skills,
and not the PERSON. Maybe if more people knew exactly why
they weren't right for something, then there wouldn't be so
much resentment. I don't know. The counter argument is that
because we are a school, everyone, regardless of all other
factors, should have glory. Part of me agrees with that,
because frankly...the school may strive to be like the real
world, but it is nowhere near the real world in any other
sense, so why should it apply to the performances? Is it
THAT important that that ONE person get to have every show
be about him or her? If they really are THAT good...then
the "real world" will take care of the glorification, right?

Whatever. I am just rambling. We are all seeing Lyndsay's
show on Saturday. I am eager to see it for myself,
particularly since I've heard such mixed reviews. It's
obviously a huge show, with a big budget, and it being a
premier and all. Lyndsay and Gabe say it's the best show
ever. Lyndsay has been dropping composer, director, and
actor names, which really doesn't serve a purpose since
hearing a name over and over again doesn't better aquaint
me with these people. The show hasn't gotten great reviews.
My good friend Dr.B didn't particularly care for the show.
Neither did the Chronicle. This plays into my new
philosophy. Don't blame the director for your crap part,
and don't blame the reviewer who gets paid to express his
opinion, for a crap review. Now I am not saying that the
reviewers are RIGHT and Lyndsay is wrong. No, it might be a
fabulous show, and I can imagine Lyndsay is doing an
excellent job because she usually does!

I gotta pick up my dad tomorrow at the airport! Which
reminds me that I have to call in to work and tell them
that I can't work a full shift tomorrow. I feel very guilty
about having such a whack schedule...but hopefully they
understand that school, singing, and health takes priority.




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