Pieces of Me
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2004-08-24 23:24:32 (UTC)

Boys Are Stupid

Okie dokie.

Since I just LOVE disclaimers, and so does everyone else,
here's one for ya'll in order to save anyone of the male
gender (or any lover of the male gender... "as if") from
taking unnecessary offense to anything I'm about to say
even to the title of this entry).


Everything I'm about to say is directed at the world's
entire population of males in general, which makes it just
that - a generalization. I'm well aware of the fact that
generalizations are not correct in their entirety, nor are
they politically correct. BUT what I do have to say DOES
apply to some (not all) guys... so I'm going to say what I
want anyway. If you don't like it, don't read it. =o)

Anyone (male or female) reading the following words of
entry should not take offense. Keep in mind that I am not
referring to any specific individuals, and if any guy
reading this feels that this entry applies to him, I hope
he takes to heart what I have to say and tries his hardest
NOT to be a "stupid boy" anymore.

Thank you and enjoy.

So... ya know that saying "God gave man a brain and a
and only enough blood to run one at a time"?

Before I go on about it, let me emphasize that I do not
know any guy who is like this ALL the time.
But you have to admit... some of you are practically poster
boys for this.
Let me also emphasize that while this is funny as a joke,
it's not something to be proud of in reality.

Guys: Your penis, no matter how precious it is to you, is
not a proper thinking organ.
You often refer to them as 'muscles', so please treat them
as such. They are not capable of any thought beyond "I
a workout".

I understand and respect the fact that guys are perverts
sometimes. I truly believe that it is in your nature and
just a basic fact of life. In fact, I expect it from all
human beings with dangling reproductive appendages (no
matter how close to or far from the body they may dangle),
and I am rarely offended by normal perverse banter.

But there is also a time and a place for that kind of
So if Mini-Me wakes up and wants to play, use your brain
(your ACTUAL brain) to determine whether or not it is a
flagrantly unacceptable time and place to soothe his
desires in any way (and I'm mostly talking about physical
methods here).

If your real brain tells you that any advance on a female
will be unwelcomed in a mild fashion, a severe fashion, or
any fashion in between those two, here's what you should

1. concentrate
2. channel all logical reasoning (key word: LOGICAL)
3. look down, be a man (a REAL man) and say "sorry, little
guy..." (or 'big guy', if it makes you feel
better) "...but you'll just have to hang on until I can
get home and find the lotion."
4. carry on about your business in a respectful manner

And most importantly....
If you ever hurt a girl, and she gets ahold of me, you
better hope you're far away in a place that I can never
find you with a permanent cup protecting your 'precious'.

Because if you're not.... You can bet that your boys
aren't going to be happy.


I love you all.