- Jessica -

- Stuck In A World Of Sin -
2004-08-22 04:14:41 (UTC)

There Is No Problem

Hey-

Well, I tried writing this on here earlier, but for
some reason it wouldn't save. Anyway- those struggles are
over. Well, I still can't keep myself from looking at
Chad.. but it doesn't bother me, and I know it's not going
to come between me and Carson's relationship. There is
notihng in my mind that gives me an excuse to end our
relationship.. because there isn't an excuse at all.
I was talking to my mom earlier in the week and she
told me a lot of stuff that helped me overcome
my "struggles." She told me that I shouldn't think about
breaking up with Carson just because I only get to see him
twice a week.. and that he shouldn't have to make me feel
special or needed every single time he sees me. She also
told me that I shouldn't break up with Carson for Chad,
because I don't know anything about him. I just know that
he's hott... and that's not even a reason to break up with
some one. She made me think.. and it really doesn't bother
me anymore.
My mom is so wise. I love her. :D Anyways- After my
mom finished talking to me and left my room.. I was
thinking to myself,"I should get to know Chad before I go
and think that I have to break up with Carson." I mean..
even if I do get to know Chad.. it still may not give me a
reason to break up with Carson. I may not like him at all
when I get to know him. Ya know what I'm trying to say??
I shame myself for even having these "struggles" with
Carson because it's so stupid. I think my period was
getting the best of me those days I felt like I had a
problem. I don't even understand what I was feeling or how
I let it get the best of me. I guess I was just really
sensitive to the fact that I've been seperated from Carson
for so long. I guess it's understandable... but it's still
stupid. lol.
I'm glad that this doesn't bother me anymore.. and
I'm looking foreward to getting to know Chad. (I've heard
a lot of good things about him.)
- Jess




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