Jack's Twisted Kingdom
Memo to all employees:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep
all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL
HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)
We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T than
anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share
of S.H.I.T on the course, please see your supervisor. You
will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list,
and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get
all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have
to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were
promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all
full of S.H.I.T already. If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may
be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name
to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in
management and consulting, we will refer you to the
department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION
(M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T). This course emphasizes how to manage
If you have further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in
their life, just not the same person who sent you this
S.H.I..T They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T
Thank you for your time.
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity
Training. (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T).