rae_katherine

Dear Jesus...
2004-08-20 05:49:52 (UTC)

thougths to words to actions

so...i just lost a contact lense...blah...that's $90 down
the drain...meh...work has been work...i don't really hate
it, but im not sure i love it either...it's just kind of
there...so thoughts on tonight...i have a quote in one of
my books...it says ~watch your thoughts, they become words.
watch your words, they become actions. watch your actions
they become habits. watch your habits they become your
character. watch your character, it becomes your destiny.~
uber cheesy, but still good...it's true too...take tonight,
we were having a discussion about tatoos...we were talking
about tatoos because it's something i've thought about...so
it then became words...and the words can then become
actions...it's easier to go from talking about it to doing
it...so i might actually get a tatoo...and then that could
lead to wanting to get more...and that could affect my
destiny...^_^...sure it could...i don't know what kind of a
tatoo i would want to get though...i was thinking about
maybe a chinese symbol on the back of my neck...just a
little one...but see, now that's so much closer to doing it
then before...crazy!...so that lead to the thought that i
wouldn't want to get a tatoo until i had a boy...why you
may ask?...well, for one thing, this body doesn't really
belong to me...it belongs first off to Jesus then to my
future husband...so i kind of would want him to be there
before i did anything terribly permenent to it...then
there's the pain factor...i've heard that these things hurt
a lot...and im a wimp...so i would want a boy to hold while
they were doing it and then to rub lotion into it for me
and make me feel all better when i cried cuz it hurt so
much...^_^...and that lead into a discussion about how much
i just want a boy in general...that's not really a very
good motivation for my life though, is it...gabi was
questioning then how anyone could be a lisbian...well, i
know i never could, because i like boys so much, but i
think if the circumstances were different (ie i wasn't a
Christian) that i could be bi...again it comes down to the
whole thoughts into words into actions thing...i mean, when
you're this pumped full of hormones, it's very easy to look
for an outlet, any outlet...even if you daydream about boys
all the time, then you start to talk about boys all the
time then you start wanting/getting some action...not a
good scene...i don't know where im going with this expect
to say that it's not a good thing...like i was saying, this
body isn't for me...it's already spoken for...that means i
have to keep it untouched until it's claimed by my future
husband, the day we say our vows...and my mind isn't mine
either, it belongs to Jesus...which means that i have to
watch what i put into it...He doesn't want any filth...so
much easier to say than do...some days, it's easy...and
somedays, it really really isn't...i thank God for the gift
of sexually that He has given me and i pray that i am able
to keep it pure for the one it belongs too...until that
day, it's just one day at a time...and lots and lots of
help from God...anyways, this is quite the rant, so night
night all...




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