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So here I am again
So here I am again. Immersed in the same smug
atmosphere of hair gel and eyeliner. People trying so
hard to be noticed among a throng of clones. The more
extreme the attire, the more desperation lies behind the
eyes. Noting that it’s all based on the same social
circuit as other vertical primates one can imagine the
need for acceptance but this is somehow more
profane. Once acceptance has been recognized it is
summarily rejected. [Do you see me? Good. Do you
think I’m cool? Good. Now fuck off]. Every person
pointedly trying to be the elite, superstar everyone
wants to know.
I work my way over to the bar, where the barmaid
immediately turns around and walks away. The "help"
seems more uptight than the customers it would seem.
The night is shaping up to be a complete disaster at
this point. Why am I here? Oh yeah, social interaction.
I have to keep reminding myself why I’ve left the house.
I turn to the nearest person to make the inclusively
perceptive opening remark about . . . whatever, the
waitress’s bad attitude we’ll say.
"Can’t even get a drink huh?" The shoulders turn away
from me and I think; Ah, the "I’m waiting for someone
more important" stance. Fine, I’ll just find a seat
somewhere and try to look more aloof than the person
next to me. This would of course be a complete waist
of time as the black-clad figure to my right seems
positively comatose. Well, at least I have a seat and
can "people watch" from the safety of a dark corner.
There’s the couple out looking for a third partner.
There’s another overweight goth in a corset with "dark"
lumps protruding from every unrestrained inch. There’s
a couple of guys, out looking for some source of hope
in their miserable, underage existence. Hoping against
hope to connect with one of the three attractive women
in the place tonight, all surrounded by four to five guys
each. I guess that’s why I’m here too. To connect with
someone on my "wavelength" which seems kind of
pointless in this environment. I mean we all have an
awful lot in common here. We all detest this pointless
charade and do our best to keep it up, regardless of the
soulless attitude necessary. Nobody can muster up
the courage to let go and have fun because we’re all
too wrapped up in our image, which by dictum from on
high must be morose, unfriendly and depressed.
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